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Forever in my thoughts; my angels xx

Printed From: The Blue Room
Category: Other Goodies
Forum Name: Forever In Our Thoughts
Forum Discription: Keeping Memories Alive
Printed Date: 22 June 2018 at 06:38

Topic: Forever in my thoughts; my angels xx
Posted By: SkatingSam22
Subject: Forever in my thoughts; my angels xx
Date Posted: 02 Apr 2011 at 22:42
For my girls; the twins, my best friends; Gemma (died 2010) and Jessica (died 2009) xx

You've always had a special place,
deep within my heart.
Forever there it will remain,
whether we're near or far apart.

You've always been a favourite,
to everyone you know.
You've always made me happy,
when I was feeling low.

The kind advice you gave to me,
will never be replaced.
Nothing else can ever compare,
when I see a smile upon your face.

I want you to know I love you,
and you mean the world to me.
You're the star I'll always wish upon,
the light I'll always see.

For those who know me/talk to me off the forum, Clare and Tups particularly, you know that I was diagnosed with cancer in 2009. My girls, Jess and Gem, were my best friends, my sisters in my eyes .. and had been since we were babies, as we grew up they helped me through the troubles in my life, and they were a never ending support when I was diagnosed with cancer and all the way through my treatments, which I now face alone.

Myself and the girls grew up together, but in November 2009 Jess got hit by a car while walking home from college with her sister and a friend. She ended up with serious brain injuries and consequently died. I've never seen someone go off the rails like Gem did, she started drinking all the time, wearing clothes that just weren't right for her, smoking and hanging around with people she shouldn't; I look back and I feel to blame, that I should have done more to get her out of that. Maybe consumed in my own grief of losing yet ANOTHER person in my life.

In August 2010, I got the phonecall I was dreading, Gem was in hospital after "ingesting" something that was shutting the organs in her body down. She too, died.

I lost my best friends, my sisters, my support system and part of my heart forever all in 9 months. I now have to watch their dad, and their 2 brothers, Adam and Tom (Tom is autistic) suffer and struggle at losing the girls, as well as trying to come to terms with it myself ..

But .. as Mother's Day (tomorrow for the UK) approaches .. I miss them all the more. All 3 of us spent mothers day together because they didn't have their Mum, and .. my biological mother and I don't get on shall we say .. last year was hard enough facing it without Jess, but this year is going to kill me facing it without both of them.

I love you guys .. and I miss you even more xx <3

Twitter: Misdiagnosed

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