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SCD Blog Week 2

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Andrew View Drop Down

Joined: 04 Oct 2014
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    Posted: 25 Oct 2015 at 11:00
My Thoughts

Apologies if I appear a grumpy old sod tonight – slightly peeved off as me and the wife invited everyone to a barbecue at ours (as I mentioned yesterday) – we didn’t have high hopes for attendance as at last year’s my cousin’s came with their little son ‘John’ – he came with his paintballs and nearly took old Mrs Breckles eye out! A trip to A&E with her later and everyone was off like a hare from the house as Little John fired paintballs around the bliddy building!

So when no one came I wasn’t surprised - I *was* annoyed when half the street came to the door and gave obviously carefully rehearsed and scripted ‘reasons’ as to why they didn’t come – which obviously weren’t true – an hour or so later I spotted the couple across the road having a barbecue of their own – and everyone flocked there like the mighty one was attending and handing out good fortune!

Apparently they’re all staying to watch Strictly as well! And of course we were the only ones not to get one of their fancy invitations through our letterbox!

I became even more irritated when I found out my second favourite football team Aberdeen lost 5-1 today! They’re *always* rubbish when they play at home, but considering they’re top of the Scottish League I didn’t expect such a thrashing from St. Johnstone!

What on earth are Daly and Winklepicker wearing? Daly has her usual belt, as well as something resembling a dog collar below her neck, while Winklepicker is wearing a frock looking like it’s crafted out of paper.

Can’t stand the judges ‘intros’ – if one thing it proves that any dance talent they once had has well and truly evaporated!

Who’s on first? Oh rats, it’s The Giggler and Tristan!

Has Halloween come early? She’s dressed as a goblin!

Not struck on his choreography – though at least there was no ‘speaking’ part at the start and they didn’t spend hours faffing about.

The judges keep blabbing on about her ‘personality’ in the dance – that was the part that made me cringe the most! Oh shut up, Dreary – you wouldn’t know ‘hot’ if you were caught in a severe heatwave!

Jamelia annoys me no end – and can’t dance very well either – lousy!

Daniel & Kristina:-
He’s so wooden you could make a shed out of him and she’d rather be snuggled up with her latest man Ben Cohen – don’t worry Cohen, she won’t be running off with this one!

The Charleston – this should be a laugh – and it is – his attempts to do ‘comedic’ facial expressions are hilarious – don’t worry Daniel – we know your botox makes it hard!

Like the goblin giggler before him – lousy!

By the way, why is there a coffin behind the judges table?


Sorry – fell asleep for a minute during Dreary Bussell’s comment – the wife had to give me a slap to wake me!

Ridiculously high scores for such a lousy attempt! And stop doing phone hands!   

Kirsty & Brendan:-
I don’t give a flying fig about your ‘day job’, lass!

Oh put away your chest, Brenda(n). More gimmicks like getting on the judges desk – just dance, for pete’s sake! I thought she was as stiff as a piece of brass and this performance further added to the list of lousy ones this series!

The scores seemed right to me – oh wait, they weren’t gushed with praise so the eejit audience didn’t approve!

Jay & Aliona:-
I wonder if she’ll start her ‘rolling the floors’ choreography again this week?

Glad he got his haircut – but does this have to be the focus of a ‘training’ vt? Can’t they show them train? The dance is full of faffing about and little waltz content – it’ll get gushing praise then – and I thought he was as stiff as a piece of brass!

I honestly don’t mind Aliona – but her tendency to make dances have little resemblance to the dance they’re supposed to greatly annoys me!

I was right, gushing praise for a just ‘good’ dance!

Iwan & Ola:-
Oh for pete’s sake – we *know* he’s dreadful – you don’t need to dedicate a whole training vt to that fact!

The song (which is totally inappropriate for a Cha-Cha-Cha) says ‘look at that body’ – I’d rather not – and I’d rather not look at this dance – which is automatically ruined by the awful music, the shirt being open and the choreography which was more like a poor Showdance than a Cha-Cha-Cha, not to mention him dancing like a chimp.

Taxi for Iwan!

Georgia & Giovanni:-
A whole vt dedicated to black pudding – I’ve seen it all now!

I won’t lie – she’s got, very good in fact, but not a fan of him – if he was any more up himself he’d suffocate!

Turns out I should’ve payed more attention – Old Pa Goodman says it wasn’t really very good after all – but then again, with the sub-par judging that goes on these days who knows? Bren will have to inform me!

Yawn, still 10 more to go! Claudia’s frankly scary cougaring over the new professional ‘Gleb’ is cringeworthy – aren’t you married? Oh wait – that means nothing on this show – maybe she will make a pass at him!

Yay – it’s Ainsley & Natalie:-
They’re still my favourites at the moment – I’ve always loved Natalie!

This faffing about at the start is unlike Natalie – not to worry, they soon get going and danced a good Salsa – although I didn’t see much Salsa in it, again unlike Natalie!

Nice to see some positive, uplifting comments – oh wait, Dreary’s trying to have a personality!

A tad overmarked – but on entertainment, fully deserved scores!

Carol & Pasha:-
I like her so I hope she’s better tonight – well, she looks *slightly* better to me – looks like a bit of a gap between them – and did they need an umbrella for the whole dance? Half of the routine was dedicated to faffing about, as with most of them.

To be fair – she is *trying*! And it wasn’t much worse than O’Botox or the giggler!

I like Pasha too – I might even drop them a vote!

Kellie & Kevin:-
She’s alright – and while I was put off him a bit last series I like him more now.

Are they dancing the Cha-Cha-Cha – missed the bit where they announced it! As with most performances, I hated the opening, but once they got going it was ok – she’s got potential, and I enjoyed it much more than the overhyped Jay!

Undermarked for me!

Anthony & Oti:-
She’s wasted on him – why couldn’t she have got someone good or with half a brain cell – he can’t have any if he signed up to a ‘dancing’ (I use the term loosely) competition with a dislocated shoulder!

It seemed to have little resemblance to a Foxtrot/Waltz (missed what the dance was again) and I know I shouldn’t, but me and the wife could barely contain our laughter seeing him dance one-armed – the first good laugh of the day we had!

Just realised – we’re more than halfway through! Hooray!

Anita & Gleb:-
Oh rats, not been looking forward to them! Not because I dislike her in anyway, quite the contrary – just because Winklepicker’s disturbing attempts to flirt with Gleb make me want to throw a brick at the TV and if I see her at it again I might just do that!

Don’t take advice from your two ‘One Show’ cronies, Anita – you’ve twice the personality of them combined and if you do I’ll become bored of you *very* quickly!

Correct me if I’m wrong, but the choreography didn’t seem very good to me – the judges gave the performance gushing praise but I trust them less than anyone on here!

Jeremy & Karen:-
He continues to humiliate himself – I don’t mind Karen but hate her faffing choreography she puts on most of the time – don’t know if she came up with the bookcase messing about but not impressed with whoever did!

‘Illegal’ lift – I know she’s got form with that but it still gets on my t*ts! Why can’t she just do a proper foxtrot?

Oh, I was wrong – Dreary says it was an American Smooth – so the lift wasn’t ‘illegal’ then – the first time anything she’s said has had an impact on me!

He’s trying – and annoying me no end with his rictus grin!

Aargh – the cat (Martha) keeps climbing on the TV and turning the volume down by doing so – although if it means I hear less of Daly, I must reward her!

Katie & Anton:-
So the berk gets the Tango – he should be better this week then – shocking I’m saying this about an alleged ‘professional’!

Her footwork looks decidedly dodgy – doesn’t seem to be mentioned by the judges – except for one mistake it gets gushed with praise – maybe I’m wrong? Although the wife agreed with me! Bren and the other dance experts can tell me!

Overmarked, I thought!

Calm down, Winklepicker – you surely don’t fancy the berk as well?

Peter & Janette:-
I wonder if this’ll have faffing about for half the dance – of course it will!

Surprise, surprise – I’m right!

He’s good, but not *that* good – he was galloping like he’s running for the grand national and his frame looked dodgy to me.

Again, gushed with praise – and top of the leaderboard! Disagree with that if I may say so.

Finally, the last one!

Helen & Aljaz:-
I like her – but there’s one thing that heavily puts me off – she seems obsessed with Dreary Darcey – we have very different tastes in judges then.

Don’t take tips from her on personality, Helen – oh Andrew, you silly buffoon – you’ve already done that joke tonight!

Didn’t think she’d be as good in the latin – and it seems I was right – she seems quite stiff, but she’s trying and doing what looks to my eyes like difficult choreography.

Still one of my favourites, and I might throw her a vote!

Right, that’s everyone! Time to celebrate – the wife’s just opened a bottle of red!

Hope you enjoyed tonight’s offerings from me – leave a comment on it if you enjoyed it – it’d help brighten up my mood!
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