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Saturday 12th November - Remembrance Day

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Aida View Drop Down
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  Quote Aida Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Topic: Saturday 12th November - Remembrance Day
    Posted: 12 Nov 2011 at 21:25
I can remember when this was a great show!

Missed the start on account of being bereft at Spain losing by a (bliddy offside) goal to England - *sighing* - we lovers of La Liga will never hear the last of it on the football forums!
I also had to spend some time attending to a lamb curry I’m making for dinner - I have a horrible feeling that I put too many chilli peppers in it, but I can’t think about that now because it’s - on with the motley and switch to BBC 1!

The Bleakely Clone and The Former Werewolf:-
Lepping around like a mad dervish in sandshoes (the female half of the sketch) - so it must be the jive! I hate the jive! I’m not struck on these two either - and here comes Old Sir Pop Forsyth, or Aida-bane as he’s known in this house. Fulsome praise from t’joodges - Bruno coming to the boil but not quite bubbling over yet.

EEEEEEEEEK !
What the blue blazes is Tactless wearing?   A shapeless sack made of sweet papers cinched in by the sacred belt! Blimey O’Reilly - Vermin might have got the hang of two sleeves at last, but he clearly hasn’t mastered darting to give shape to the bodice! Every week she grows closer and closer to resembling Big Bird from Sesame Street - particularly when she’s wearing a short frock with those spindly legs and arms poking out of it!
Yes - overmarked as per - what a tosser Forsyth is - I’m going to try to ignore him.

Who’s next?

Hooray - it’s Wild Robbie and Ooh la la:-
Whoever dreamed up the idea of making these ludicrous video intros should be shot - never mind - they’re off and doing an American Smooth, allegedly - it looks okay to me, but I’m biased because I like watching him dance.
Better marks - Bruno on a fast simmer - they need to change the sedative, this one has no effect whatsoever.

Audrey and Tina Sparkle:-
Poor Audrey - I reckon he’s for the chop this week - t’joodges seem to think so too as they damned him with faint praise (see - you get Shakespeare quotations in *this* blog) after he did his best to gyrate around and do the char x 3.   Natalie is brilliant at showcasing her celeb and I like her dancing which surely means she’s doomed never to win the plastic Glitterball.
The Kiss of Death administered by Pop F - ‘you’re my favourites’! Yeah, right!    
Go on, Audrey - endear yourself to the nation and knock the old blister into the middle of next week - and clout Craig for good measure!

Drummer Harry and The Orange Peril:-
How can this lad possibly be a heartthrob? He’s as plain as a suet pudding. Oh, dear God - I knew they’d have to include the other pair of trainspotters at some point - right - they’ve been on, so no more of them. And, Drummer-boy, don’t you ever dare to wear an Argentina shirt again - you’re not worthy.
Right - so they’re doing the Argentine tango are they - hmmmm - that’ll be a lap-dance with kicks and mild attempts to kick him in the crown jewels. And it is - and to my amazement, the entire panel of stooges - sorry - t’joodges - fly into a synchronised cadenza apart from poor Old Pop Goodman who still, bless him, seems to believe that the dance counts for something in this mockery of a show and loses his temper enough to swear at Craig on National television. I don’t blame him - every time I catch sight of The Orange Peril, I swear like a trooper meself.   Alesha and Bruno defiantly flourishing ‘10’s’ - you bliddy eejits - he‘s still not going to ask either of you out no matter how shamelessly you throw yourselves at him!

Oh, get on - next, next, next - for pity’s sake bring someone else on before I spontaneously combust!

Popeye and the Soviet Strumpet:-
- if in doubt, wheel Kylie on!    What are they doing - the Viennese Whirl - okay - when are they going to start? Oh, I can’t be bothered with these two - and I can’t eat this bliddy curry either - I’ve just about burned my gob off and even two quick, ice-cold G&T’s have done nothing to stop the pain and tingling.   The hubba is manfully shovelling it down, sweating rivers and purple in the face, and poor Solomon who pinched a piece of lamb from my plate practically went into orbit before exiting the room at the speed of light, tail fluffed out like a toilet-brush, and heading for his water-bowl.
Didn’t like that whirl at all - he looked like Skippy the Bush Kangaroo most of the time and the whole thing was far too ‘showy’!

Chelsee and Pashion:-
Aaarrrggh - what’s *this* outrage?    As if there isn’t enough of Pop Forsyth already without having to see him cavorting around on VT 50 years ago, thinner and with much less hair on top! What a pail of sick!
Ahem - right - they’re doing a foxtrot - rather a beautiful foxtrot - lovely gown, lovely music, lovely dance - silly ending.

Anita Dobbin and The Gallant Kwik-fit fitter:-
Now *that*‘s what I call an Argentine Tango - loved the music and everything about it. Excellent!
The brain-dead audience almost missed their cue for the Standing Ovation - the electrified seats mustn’t be delivering much of a voltage, although they seemed to have worked on Dr. Brian May the way his hair was sticking out at all angles.

I’ve had two drinks of milk and my mouth’s still on fire - the poor hubba’s mopping his face with the tea-towel and is on his third can of beer - and I’ve had to refill Solomon’s water bowl! I don’t need Russell to predict we’ll be back to the takeaway next week!

Right - Oh - I wondered why Brenda(n) was here - so Comrade Teethski’s hurt his back has he - what a stroke of luck - erm - I mean - what a shame for Jolly Holly!

Jolly Holly and Brenda(n)
Well, what a surprise - she looked happier than she has in weeks and she danced a proper rumba very well - just shows what a difference can be made by a proper teacher who knows more than how to do a show dance! She’s probably laying a line of banana skins from Teethski’s dressing-room to the car-park right now - I certainly would be!

Kidding - do rest up, Artem-dear, and get properly better - five or six weeks should do it!

And finally …..
Bouncing Russell and Fast Flav:-
I don’t care if he’s not a great dancer - I love him to bits and he tries, bless him! We’re in for the American Smooth complete with sparkly eyeshadow! Hooray!    I spotted the screens early on - someone must have wrested them from the grasp of the sedative-nurse - and I feared what use they’d be put to, but when Russell emerged as Liberace, I had a fit of wild laughter which required 2 puffs of Ventolin to recover from.

‘Immortal’? He certainly is - I’ll be devastated if he goes tonight - but I think the bullet’s got Audley’s name on it! Be back later to see if I’m right - we’re all having ice-cream now - Solomon’s already eaten his and is glowering balefully at me from the hubba’s lap - I bet he goes and pees in my slippers - Solomon, not the hubba - I think the hubba would like to strangle me!

Cats were once worshipped as gods in Ancient Egypt. They've never forgotten this.

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  Quote Bren Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 12 Nov 2011 at 22:20
Jolly Holly and Brenda(n)
Well, what a surprise - she looked happier than she has in weeks and she danced a proper rumba very well - just shows what a difference can be made by a proper teacher who knows more than how to do a show dance! She’s probably laying a line of banana skins from Teethski’s dressing-room to the car-park right now - I certainly would be!
Kidding - do rest up, Artem-dear, and get properly better - five or six weeks should do it!



haha aida loved it
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  Quote deborah31 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 12 Nov 2011 at 22:56
Originally posted by Bren

Jolly Holly and Brenda(n)
Well, what a surprise - she looked happier than she has in weeks and she danced a proper rumba very well - just shows what a difference can be made by a proper teacher who knows more than how to do a show dance! She’s probably laying a line of banana skins from Teethski’s dressing-room to the car-park right now - I certainly would be!
Kidding - do rest up, Artem-dear, and get properly better - five or six weeks should do it!



haha aida loved it
agreed, am loving Brendan and HOlly
also think Tess looked a bit like a green quality street!
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  Quote Tups Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 Nov 2011 at 00:02
haha.. well done again Aida.. as for Artem.. I think I should bring my nurse's uniform out of retirement and with some TLC I could nurse him back to health .. hope you all recover from the curry soon lol
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  Quote terrip Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 Nov 2011 at 07:06
Fabulous Aida.  And I so agreed about Anita and Robin.
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  Quote Force Ten Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 Nov 2011 at 08:41
Fabulous as always.  Hope Solomon has recovered now. My last Burmese cat used to love curry, but probably not as hot as the one you made lol. Big%20smile
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  Quote BambionIce Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 Nov 2011 at 09:27
Hilarious as always, Aida - and I couldn't agree more with regard to the Comrade!
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  Quote Stanmore Witch Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 Nov 2011 at 20:24
brilliant as always Aida
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  Quote Thess Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 14 Nov 2011 at 14:05
Originally posted by Aida

 
Drummer Harry and The Orange Peril:-
... Right - so they’re doing the Argentine tango are they - hmmmm - that’ll be a lap-dance with kicks and mild attempts to kick him in the crown jewels. 
 
I just snorted coffee over my keyboard LOLLOLLOL
Remember, Ginger Rogers did everything Fred Astaire did, but backwards and in high heels.
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