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Saturday 22nd October ... The Dirty Dozen ....

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Aida View Drop Down
Penis FlyTrap
Penis FlyTrap

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  Quote Aida Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Topic: Saturday 22nd October ... The Dirty Dozen ....
    Posted: 22 Oct 2011 at 23:40

Eeeek - I’m late at me post!

This is all the hubba’s fault as he insisted on having the ‘what shall we have to eat tonight’ argument in advance so that he can ring ‘Shouting’s Chop Suey House’ and have the meal delivered after Strictly’s finished but before our beloved Barca kick off - yes, my precious footballing angels have kindly decided to play at 9pm again so that I get a straight run at the blog.

The cats are all excited and jostling for position on the draining-board - hmmm - they’re going to get fed-up waiting long before anything is delivered, but the blighters are full to the brim with cat-food, so they’re hardly suffering.

The hubba’s in a bit of a mood because I’ve cancelled his gardening plans tomorrow and instructed him that as winter is imminent and draughts are starting to whistle around the living-room, his ‘Sunday job’ is to replace the window sealant which the Golden Prince - Leo, our red-point Siamese - industriously removes by way of entertaining himself whenever he’s bored.

Anyway, the hubba hummed and hawed for so long choosing stuff that I lost my temper and told him that since The Shouting Man sends whatever he *thinks* we want to eat rather than what we order, it doesn’t really matter - what *does* matter is that whenever I scream his name while watching Strictly, he pricks up his ears and sprints up the stairs to refresh my drink and doesn’t ignore me for ages or come (slowly) half-way up the stairs and shout, “What!”, in a belligerent manner then slope off sighing and muttering. He says he doesn’t do that, I say he does - this goes on for some time, becoming quite heated until I notice that - it’s 6:34 p.m.!

In the rush to grab the telly buttons, I dropped them twice and stood on Orlando’s tail - but never mind that - here are the first victims , apparently in rehearsal.

Good heavens! Is that Popeye Donovan or Juan Sheet? Well, he isn’t clutching a kitchen-roll so it must be old …

Popeye Donovan and the Soviet Strumpet:-
Oh right - it’s the paso doble - are the band determined to take the piss out of poor Brian May. Well, I like the paso and I like Queen, but the two don’t really mix, do they? The eejit audience are hysterical even at this early stage. Ugh, what a sleaze Old Pop Goodman is, I’m shuddering - Alesha looks gorgeous and is dressed to spring into action should anyone have a panic attack and feel unable to do the paso - Bruno seems quite calm, the sedative nurse must have taken into account that he’s nippy on his feet and used a blow-dart tonight - Craig speaking sense as always!

God help us and save us - what the f*ck is Tactless wearing?    Has Vermin made it from his mother’s old curtains and added a touch of crumpled baking foil around the neckline to divert attention from the horrid pattern. Ah well - at least he’s mastered two sleeves at last! Hair’s a sight and no lippy!

More mindless ’filler’ tosh from Pop Forsyth!

The Bleakley clone (with hair extensions) and the Former Werewolf (who needs some):-
Here we go - the rumba performed in a strange frock and dyed lace curtains to the legs! Lovely! (insert vomiting icon) No, silly Aida - it’s not the dance Colin Jackson and La Boag once did so perfectly - it’s the pole-dancing/rolling the floors version. Teehee - Craig hates the former werewolf , doesn’t he? Almost as much as the FW hates him! Oh, shut up, you mouthy git, your choreography was crap, get over it!

Rory Bremner (as who?) and La Boag:-
Crikey - I’m finding him quite funny - mind you, he hasn’t got much comedic competition from Pop Forsyth. Loved the dress (apart from the belt ) - and - I liked this! It wasn’t great but it looked like a char x3, and Rory really let himself go and got into it!

D’you know, I don’t think Bruno *has* had the sedative - or he‘s metabolised it and it needs topping up - mind you, they needn’t give it for me - I love him ‘agitato‘!

Woohoo: Audrey in evening dress! Oh, listen to Forsyth - Audrey hasn’t got a broken nose - I wish he’d give the old blister one, though!

Audrey Harrison and Tina Sparkle:-
I love La Sparkle - and blimey - he’s looking better and better as he loses weight, innit? Beautiful gown on Natalie - aaarrggghh - they’ve got a prop! It’s all right - they’re up and dancing a foxtrot and it looks very nice, a bit whirly here and there, but I quite liked it - didn’t like the music at all!

Pause for interruption by two howling cats who want their second supper - NOW!

Note to sedative nurse - forget Bruno - give it all to Forsyth - straight through the trousers!

Oh, please God don’t let them be doing the paso, Oh why, why, why, whyyyyyyyyyyy! The Berk would have been better off dancing with one of the bullocks!

Eccola, pazza Nancy dell’OliveOyl and The Berk:-
Well, it was a bit of a pantomime paso and she seemed to be two or three beats behind the Berk, but it was actually slightly better than I thought it would be.

Lulu and Brenda(n):-
Rats! I love the sarmba, but I can’t see her pulling it off - listen to the eejit squawking away in rehearsal - what a gob she has on her!
Props!   I suppose I’ll have to (grudgingly) say it was okay-ish, but what the hell did Brenda(n) think he was about running up and down the stairs. Liked the frock, but the hair looked as if she’d come on a motor-bike without a crash-helmet. What the hell’s got into the former werewolf shouting the odds from the gallery - if he isn’t careful, the sedative nurse will be sneaking up on him!

I’m bliddy hungry now - and so’s the black cat Solomon - he’s just walked across the keyboard and deleted my last two entries!

Thar they blow ….

Jolly Holly and not so jolly Comrade Teethski:-
She’s not much of an actress, is she? Even I can do a better faux cut-glass accent than that! And we’re off - the Viennese Whirl with props, garish frock and a lounge-suit - and as usual with the Comrade, little whirling and much faffing. Oh, they’re whirling a bit now - it’s a sort of Viennese obstacle course. Now they’ve stopped and put a bit of salsa in - can’t he actually *do* any of the dances properly? Overmarked in my opinion, I want to see what Alesha and Bruno are swigging when the cameras are off them!

Missed a bit of an obvious joke there, Sir Nitwit - the word ‘Arsenal’ hung heavily in the air when he stuttered through ‘Accrington Stanley’!

Sideshow Chelsee and Pashion:-
More bliddy props! Oh, I liked this once the faffing was over - I *really* liked it, I’m no expert but it looked a proper quickstep to me! I like this boy - *he* knows how to choreograph to his celebrity’s strengths. Well deserved score - see where proper dancing will get you!

Harry Dull and The Orange Peril:-
I keep hearing how ‘gorgeous’ he is - I can’t see it - he looks a pleasant enough lad - a bit like a shelf-stacker from Tesco (other supermarkets are available) type.   Eeek - they’ve been reading my Victor Sylvester book - I shall be amazed if there’s a proper waltz and no faffing or rolling the floors from her, though - see - I knew it! Why? They were doing really well - what a bliddy ninny she is! Well, I never thought I’d see the day I’d agree with Pop Goodman, but on this occasion, I do! Oh, Alesha, you silly tart - and Len, after what you had to say, an ‘8’ was ludicrous - at least have the courage of your convictions.

Anita Dobbin and the Kwik-fit fitter:-
Well, they’ve managed to force him into a closed shirt (probably at knife-point) but he still hasn’t learned to fasten a tie. American Smooth, eh? Well, that’s ‘do what you like’ dance-wise, although isn’t everything on this show nowadays? That arabesque(?) was atrocious and there’s not a lot of ‘Hollywood’ glamour on view - they must have meant Hollywood Council Estate. Oh, for God’s sake, someone take the gin bottle off Alesha, she’s started to babble - and Bruno’s had quite enough too!

The Hallowe’en special’s next week? Tess is ready for it now!

Hooray - Wild Robbie!

Forsyth’s backing the wrong horse, in a straight fight, Robbie would probably knock seven bells out of the former werewolf - I’ve seen him play football!

Wild Robbie and Ooh La La:-
I hate the jive! I like this one, only because I looooove Robbie - or ‘Thor’ as the hubba calls him (rather bitterly). Woohoo - not the greatest jive I’ve ever seen, but whew - he has a gorgeous chest! I think I’m having a hot flush! Tommy Steele? Crikey, the last time I saw *him*, I was three!

Huzzah - another favourite coming up - groan - shut up Sir Forsyth - you’re about as funny as an outbreak of Ebola fever!

Bouncing Russell and Fast Flav:-
Oh, he’s soooooo sweet - I’m in a really good mood now - it’s *not* the gin, Graham - bugger off, I’m watching Russell! Oh, look at his ‘tango-face’ and his twinkling waistcoat, he‘s like a sparkly little midnight cowboy! Just love him - *and* his teddy-bear! Aha - here it comes - finalmente - Bruno’s major cadenza is upon us! Take cover!!
Oh, Russel’s just *got* to stay in - I can’t wait to see him bounce his way through the sarmba! He might even have maraccas!

Right - I’m off ......

.... and now I’m back!

The Chinese arrived and to my surprise the old ‘Shouter sent us more or less what we asked for tonight - and it was lovely! Both Orlando and Solomon got themselves red-carded within the first five minutes of trying to hook food from our plates and were sent off to the kitchen with a spare-rib chop each to keep them quiet.

I *was* going to tart the blog up with a few smilies, but I’m exhausted after the football - my angels only managed a draw, God love them - so would you mind just popping a smilie in here and there for yourselves wherever you think one might be appropriate!

Right - I’m going to post this then rush to the main forum to see who’s gone - it better not be Russell!

Cats were once worshipped as gods in Ancient Egypt. They've never forgotten this.

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Tups View Drop Down
The Queen Of Tarts

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  Quote Tups Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 Oct 2011 at 19:04
haha.. brilliant as usual Aida.. nice to know the cats still play up at Chinese time!!!
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Rampant Rabbit Fan
Rampant Rabbit Fan

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  Quote Thess Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 Oct 2011 at 22:27
This is what Sundays are about! Great write up Aida.  And what you said about Alex's costume being lace curtains up her legs, is exactly how my Dad would have described it! LOL

Remember, Ginger Rogers did everything Fred Astaire did, but backwards and in high heels.
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salsa-addict View Drop Down

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  Quote salsa-addict Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 24 Oct 2011 at 08:43
I also thought Alex's outfit was awful and didn't like Anita's much either, although I agree it danced well.  Loved Erin's dressand thought Chelsee's was perfect for the setting of the dance.
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Tango View Drop Down

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  Quote Tango Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 24 Oct 2011 at 10:35
Fantastic breakdown as always Aida. Keep up the good work and keep those cats in check Big%20smile
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BambionIce View Drop Down
Penis FlyTrap
Penis FlyTrap

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  Quote BambionIce Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 28 Oct 2011 at 11:45
Harry the shelf-stacker - Aida, you have nailed it completely (as usual!)LOL
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