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"I'm on drug called Charlie Sheen"

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Joined: 19 Jan 2004
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    Posted: 02 Aug 2011 at 08:47

'I'M ON A DRUG AND IT'S CALLED CHARLIE SHEEN'



“
Charlie Sheen is set to join other famous faces on the new celebrity version of the show on Channel 5
”
2nd August 2011

By James Moore

HE is the outspoken star who could soon be keeping audiences on the edge of their seats in the Big Brother house.


Charlie Sheen is set to join other famous faces on the new celebrity version of the show on Channel 5.


And he will be good for a few controversial quotes. The 45-year-old has become as famous for his memorable utterances as his acting.


Here JAMES MOORE picks out the best...


On his brain: “If you borrowed my brain for five seconds, you’d be like: ‘Dude! Can’t handle it, unplug this bastard!’ It fires in a way that’s, uh, maybe not from this terrestrial realm.”


On his body: “I have a different constitution... I got tiger blood, man.”


On his talent: “I’m tired of pretending like I’m not special. I’m tired of pretending like I’m not biatchin’, a total freakin’ rock star from Mars.”


On his talent, again: “I’m sorry, man, but I’ve got magic. I’ve got poetry in my fingertips. Most of the time – and this includes naps – I’m an F-18, bro. And I will destroy you in the air.”


And again: “C’mon bro, I won best picture at 20. I wasn’t even trying. I wasn’t even warm.”


On drugs: “I probably took more than anybody could survive. I was bangin’ seven-gram rocks and finishing them because that’s how I roll, because I have one speed, one gear.”


On marriage: “I tried marriage. I’m 0 for 3 with the marriage thing. I’m not going 0 for 4.”


On his hard-living lifestyle: “There was a time when I couldn’t leave the house until I’d smoked three joints, taken tranquillisers and drunk a bottle of Bourbon.”


On himself: “I am on a drug. It’s called Charlie Sheen. It’s not available. If you try it once, you will die. Your face will melt off and your children will weep over your exploded body.”


On his girlfriends: “I’m just going to hang out with these two smoking hotties and fly privately around the world. It might be lonely up here, but I sure like the view.”


On partying: “What’s not to love? Especially when you see how I party man, it’s epic. The run I was on made Sinatra, Flynn, Jagger, Richards, look like droopy-eyed armless children.”


On rumours he’s bi-polar: “I’m bi-winning. I win here, I win there.”


On his limits: “There is such a thing as too much fun. How many times can you wake up and struggle to remember your name, her name and where you are?”


On his roots: “I’m Spanish-Irish. I mean, sh*t, that’s a volatile combination.”


On his ex Kelly Preston getting accidentally shot in 1990: “A gunshot in the morning will wake you up better than a nice cup of coffee.”


On his state of mind: “Here’s the good news. If I realise that I’m insane, then I’m OK with it. I’m not dangerous insane.”


On his lifestyle: “I have one speed, I have one gear: Go!”


On TV bosses after being sacked from US sitcom Two And A Half Men: “I’m dealing with fools and trolls and soft targets. It’s just strafing runs in my underwear before my first cup of coffee. I don’t have time for these clowns.”


Daily Star


Edited by Bren - 02 Aug 2011 at 08:48
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