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Post-script!

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Aida View Drop Down
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  Quote Aida Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Topic: Post-script!
    Posted: 19 Dec 2010 at 11:38
Thank you so much for the very kind wishes and comments in the replies to my final offering for 2010 - I'm almost embarrassed to admit that I simply couldn't resist watching the final - well, I actually didn't watch it in 'real time' because the divine Barcelona FC were playing their home-town rivals Espanyol and regular readers already know that if Messrs Puyol et al suspect that I'm not watching and cheering them on, they go to pieces.

This may seem a wild claim, but I can prove it - many of them play for the Spanish national team - and in their first match of their World Cup 2010 campaign, I was unable to watch them play as I'd been summoned to see my Diabetic Consultant for the annual telling-off! They lost! Fortunately, I was able to watch all of their other matches and they went on to win the whole Glitterball - or Jules Rimet Trophy, if you prefer.

Having decided I couldn't care less who won last night, I recorded the shows, telling myself that I 'might' have a look at them sometime today - 1:45 a.m. saw me and the cats sat on the sofa staring glassily at t'telly as Artem did his impersonation of Niobe, all swathed in fur rugs and closely resembling Sherpa Tensing, me clutching a glass of medicinal brandy and cursing the hubba who'd sloped off to bed at 11:30 and turned the heating off.

I know, I know - I could have gone and switched it back on, but I kept telling myself I was only going to watch two more minutes of it then go to bed - sighing - but I didn't, and because it didn't seem right to leave everything hanging, here is my take on the show.

Overall, it was better than I expected, although the voltage in the electrified chairs seemed to have been cranked up to such a level that the screaming ninnies in the audience seemed almost afraid to sit down, even rising to lustily applaud Pop Forsyth's failures to read the autocue. Perhaps they were taking the p*ss?

The tattered remnants of the professional dancers opened the show in another tedious 'routine', then I think Farmer Matt and the Flame-haired Article came out and curvetted around like dervishes, sarmba-ing with steely determination and back-flips. The joodges, almost to a joodge, seemed to adore it, particularly Alesha (who appeared to have fashioned the sleeve of her frock into a shield to ward off Len's cold germs) and Bruno, both of whom seemed to have already consumed a good amount of medicinal brandy before turning up! Pop Goodman, soured no doubt, by being sustained by nothing but medicinal Lem-sip and determined to reflect the Christmas Spirit by being the Scrooge of the evening was the least charitable and Craig was his usual self - even so, they were all kind enough to keep the tears from starting to the sweaty one's eyes!

I can't remember who was up next, but if it was 'The Perfects', they probably did one of their usual showdances which they've been doing since Show One - perfectly! Aha - I think it was a rooomba    Swoons from the joodges, bar Scrooge Goodman who clearly ain't in the mood for 'lurve' and Craig who saw a lift! Cue hysterics from the audience, as the floor-manager nervously eyed the water-cannons and signalled to his minions to hold off for now.

Yawn - here come Pammie and The Male Jordan - Oh, no - not their bliddy Viennese Whirl again!!! The only thing which makes this bearable for me is that I was reading another forum the other day, and someone had pointed out Pammie's startling resemblance to Lina Lamont in 'Singin' in the Rain'- an observation so apposite, I laughed so loudly at the simpering, 'melting' expression on her face, I had a burst of coughing so impassioned it inspired the hubba to call sleepily downstairs and ask if I was all right! The laughter stopped as if I'd been switched off at the mains when t'joodges awarded her maximum marks, precipitating her into mad screams and 'Thang yews', me into suddenly sitting upright, shaking my little fists and shouting incoherent abuse at the telly, Barnacle Bill her husband to clap like a seal begging for fish, and two cats depart to join Daddo in bed, only pausing in the doorway to cast me deeply reproachful looks.

By then, I'd decided, I didn't care who bliddy won as long as it wasn't hammy Pammie!

What's next? Ah yes, so called 'showdances' - well, this won't be a hardship for The Perfects, that's all they've ever done from the start - and - we're off, but Farmer Matt and The Red Peril seem to have been caught short in their practice clothes - unphased by this, they quickly put on an exhbition of musical gymnastics! Hell's Bells!

Aaaarrgggh - what's this???? How dare Comrade Weepski get dressed up as The Divine Freddy? I didn't see much of the rest through the tears which erupt as a direct result of the singer (I use the term loosely) who slaughtered the song, but what I did see looked out of time and jerky! Show dance, my @rse!

Now what can Pama-Lina and The Male Jordan come up with? Oh, right - 'Dirty Dancing with Nana'! Next!

Whizz through audience cadenzas, recaps and flashback to the glum-unti-they-realise-the-cameras-are-on-them former contestants, dislodge the remaining cats to make self some hot chocolate and zap heated slippers in microwave, return to sofa and arrange fur throws around self, slip off furry slippers only to find that the two remaining cats have claimed a hot heated slipper each. Sigh, slip (cold) furry slippers back on and fire up the last part of the fiasco.

Laugh like the proverbial hyena as Pama-lina is denied the opportunity to inflict her Argentine Tango on us, light a celebratory ciggie then almost choke to death as she morphs smoothly into her 'gracious and heartfelt' farewell speech and Jordan Male starts to sob brokenly. I had sort of hoped that Barnacle Bill would stot across the floor and do a Rab C. Naisbitt rant, but, alas, he didn't!

Right - two left - the Beeb clearly wanted Farmer Matt to win up to now, but maybe someone with commonsense has pointed out (with the use of diagrams) that to have three Beeb presenters win three times running might not be the best move to quash the conspiracy theories which abound on the forums - we'll see!

Oh no - not the bliddy rose trellis and swing!I didn't like this peculiar Viennese Whirl the first time I saw it, and I still don't - Victor Sylvester (in my book) stresses that you have to be 'in hold', not faffing about. Next!

American Smooth by The Perfects- they don't learn, do they? Last time they did this routine, he twisted his neckski, this time it looked to me as if she'd subluxated her elbow - still - if they insist on doing ridiculous tricks and a mongrel mix of dances for a so-called AS, it serves them right - and Old Pop Lem-sip still hates it!

Oooh, a paso - I love the paso and even though I don't love this pair at all, it looked all right to me - I deeply disapprove of bullfighting, but I entertained myself by imagining an immense bull chasing them relentlessly around the floor.

Dear me - a waltz is hardly the most stunning dance to end on, is it? Especially not with a hurt arm which that clown Tactless Tess jostled happily when she had them trapped in the Eagle's Nest - it was good-ish and attracted a hoooge gush of praise from t'joodges, especially my lovely Alesha who looked a bit miffed when she said that Kara was the best female dancer ever on the show and nobody contradicted her!

Pause for all of the former contestants - who'd been stood about trying to smile and look excited for hours - to come out and stamp about better than they did when they were actually on the show, ending with the traditional sweep and polish of the floor for the winners by the Old Stoat and The Berk!

And - finally - the winners of the Tacky Trophy 2010 are - The Perfects - cue Comrade Weepski sobbing like a broken-hearted child and Ms Boring droning nonsense through the tears - segue to the other embittered zelebs and Jordan (female) squealing like a pig to mob them and further endanger Kara's injured arm by shoving them together for a stage-managed kiss! Awwww!

Fireworks erupted, Comrade Weepski was hoisted aloft to share his tears with the nation, the hysterical audience approached the point of needing sedation, Pop and Tactless tried and failed to make themselves heard over the screams, explosions and thick flurries of confetti - and - that's it - it's over, for another year! Thank God!

Sorry for retiring and then changing my mind and coming back with the monotonous regularity of James Brown - but I couldn't resist it - and I won't be able to resist watching Il Divino in the Christmas Special even if he did get stiffed with the Jolly Gastric Band!

Have a fab-u-lous Christmas and I'll 'see' you Christmas Day or Boxing Day - if we're spared!

Edited by Aida - 19 Dec 2010 at 14:41

Cats were once worshipped as gods in Ancient Egypt. They've never forgotten this.

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  Quote Eviesmum Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 19 Dec 2010 at 12:20
Glad you decided to do the final.

Knew you wouldn't be able to resist Big%20smile
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  Quote anniemay Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 19 Dec 2010 at 15:22
So glad you couldn`t resist watching the final and sharing your views Aida, many thanks.
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  Quote Tups Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 19 Dec 2010 at 15:38

this has made my day nod.. ta Aida.. was thinking of you last nite whilst I watched it.. wondered if you'd watch it after having come so far.. my hormones were in overdrive last night cos my hero won Dance.. I actually enjoyed the final more than I thought I would! I would like to wish you and yours a very Merry Christmas and a huge thank you for entertaining us through the series.. and I shall share my diabetic chocolate with you.. orrible stuf innit??? xx

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  Quote Aida Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 19 Dec 2010 at 17:16
Thanks, girls!

Thanks for the offer, Tups - but you can keep the diabetic chocolate - - I never touch the nasty stuff, I eat Belgian chocs and keep an eye on the blood sugar and my HC1A is always okay!   

I knew you'd be overjoyed about Comrade Teethski's success last night - maybe if he grew his hair a bit he might appeal to me more?


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  Quote Tups Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 Dec 2010 at 09:26
haha... I'm a Cadbury's girl myself...developed a huge love of chocolate after my diagnosis.. but I am a good girl (sometimes).. I like to have it in.. but don't often eat it, which totally flummoxes my daughter, who coverts my choccy, but knows better than to dare touch it.. she thinks I'm evil!.. only another diabetic can really understand.. we need to look.. even if we rarely touch!
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  Quote Thess Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 Dec 2010 at 17:54
Brilliant bit of summing up Aida, so glad you decided to blog one last time. Shame I will have to wait until next year for the next one - unless you are wayching the Christmas Special?!!
Remember, Ginger Rogers did everything Fred Astaire did, but backwards and in high heels.
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  Quote Aida Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 Dec 2010 at 18:32
Originally posted by Thess

Brilliant bit of summing up Aida, so glad you decided to blog one last time. Shame I will have to wait until next year for the next one - unless you are wayching the Christmas Special?!!


I certainly am, Thess - what - me miss Il Divino after being virtually starved of his beautiful, graceful self all series?

Glad you enjoyed the blog - and thank you for your support!

Cats were once worshipped as gods in Ancient Egypt. They've never forgotten this.

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  Quote Bren Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 Dec 2010 at 18:38
Thank you Aida for blogging the final only just noticed this !! as usual it cheered me up totally glad to hear you will be blogging the final
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  Quote Aida Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 Dec 2010 at 18:43
Thanks for the encouragement and support, Bren!

Cats were once worshipped as gods in Ancient Egypt. They've never forgotten this.

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