Fright - sorry - MOVIE night ...

Dear God - what the f*ck ?   I’m missing my beloved Barcelona for this? I’m sitting upstairs, cold, catless and alone for THIS?

I must be overwrought because I just burst into such wild hysterical laughter at the sight of Pop Forsyth growling and flashing his dentures that the hubba had to shake me like a rabbit and threaten to throw cold gin in my face if I can’t get hold of myself!

Who are these blighters - Oh - yawn - ‘tis the ‘professionals’ limbering up with some gymnastics to music - first out , the strumpet, strumpeting like crazy - then far too much Jordans -I don’t remember the bint in 'Top Gun' wearing a silver cozzie.   Hmmm - I’m surprised Erin can wear a tailcoat without terrible memories of the way she blighted Colin Jackson’s chance of winning - and I don’t remember Uma Thurman chucking herself around like that either!

And here they come Dumb and Dumber - the old fool shuffling and the younger fool dressed in Baco-foil (with the sacred belt) and flashing her gusset.

Yes, I know it’s bliddy Movie Night - I’ve been looking forward to it the way I’d anticipate a root filling!
This is going to be a nightmare - especially for the first ones out, the unlucky cupple being - Oh no, it’s …

Hot Scott and Tina Sparkle:-
God, quick Graham - I’m on fire! Chuck the cold gin over me! He is GORGEOUS! I loved it, just loved it - I adore the paso and I was entranced from the opening bars to the shirt-ripping! Mmmrrrowl! Clever Natalie! I might even throw my first 50p of the series away on this pair.

Oh blimey - here we go from the sublime to the ridiculous …

Tugboat Annie and The Berk:-
Boring and idiotic - she looks like Margaret Rutherford playing Miss Marple while stumbling around in sparkly culottes - what’s wrong with those imbeciles in the audience, is the floor manager holding them at gunpoint to make them scream like that - have the Beeb increased the voltage in the electrified seats. Oh my Lord - if she goes through instead of Scott, I am never, ever watching this programme again. And you can shut up, Revile-Horrid - you’ve proved yourself nowt but an empty vessel this week - pretend to be as harsh as you like, but we all know now that you’re a servile, company man through and through.
Just listen to the old stoat - she loves the viewers does she? Does she know that some of us are women and some of us are gay?   

Farmer Matt and The Red Scourge:-
God, he gets soooooo much time to witter and yip on - he makes me sick - and as for the snow, surely to God it must have been colder in whatever Slav country she comes from?
Austin Powers - well, he’s geeky enough - why does everything that woman touch have to be orange, and why is she besmirching our flag? Rotten - I hate the jive and I can’t stand them! He’s soooooo sweaty!

What would the show be like without music? Better, probably!

Three days! What do you mean, ’THREE DAYS!” you brainless bint? I’m not writing for three frigging days! Oh my God - Graham - GRAHAM - fetch me another drink - a stronger and bigger drink than this one! And bring me a cat to clutch, I need comfort!

Pammie and Jordan(male):-
Ah well, I don’t like either of them, but credit where credit’s due I like the Viennese Whirl done properly and this was done properly and very beautifully. Oh, what a surprise - not! Happy Birthday, this week’s favourites - and here’s four tens!

I see Methusaleh’s broken into the Christmas Crackers to get this week’s jokes!

Welsh Gav and the Kanadian Kat:-
Lovely foxtrot, great music - loved it - what a pity they might be this week’s sacrifice to the old stoat! I feel more than a bit anxious since Pop Goodman said the fell words, “That was your best dance yet!” Didn’t he say that to Patsy, Felicity et al?

Oh Lord - I’d forgotten about these two blisters - I was on the point of adding smilies, ‘saving’ and posting.

Drone, drone, drone - she’s like a bee buzzing in the background - I bet they do the same dance as always - tons of lifts and writhing with a couple of tango steps thrown in - and the joodges and audience will be orgasmic.

The Ex-Eastender and Comrade Didn’tbothertogetdressedupski
Why’s she dressed as Audrey Hepburn? Well, at least they’re doing the tango which is more than I expected. Yes, yes - yawn - wonderful, wonderful, just give them the sodding tens and let me get to my supper!

Surprisingly, the show was better than I feared it would be - but I am not, NOT, NOT writing three blogs next week - and if Scott goes out, I’m not writing any more, ever again!

*exits, stage left, tossing curls tempestuously and pouting*



Edited by Aida - 04 Dec 2010 at 19:54

Love it Aida - just hole up with your choice of cat next week and you'll be fine.

haha excellent Aida as always