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Week Three, October 16th

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Aida View Drop Down
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  Quote Aida Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Topic: Week Three, October 16th
    Posted: 16 Oct 2010 at 19:53
This week’s blog carries the scent of burning martyr! I have tonsillitis and a temperature of 38.4 Celsius - my throat is so sore I can hardly swallow and have to have bliddy chicken soup instead of the usual Chinese feast. The heartless hubba has spent the last forty minutes selecting himself (and those villainous cats) a splendid supper which he intends to actually go, in person, to the Chinese to collect so that the shouting man can’t just send whatever he has in the wok at the time we ring. I don’t even fancy a drink because the Strepsils have destroyed my taste buds! I. Am. Fed. Up!

Never mind - it might lack the usual sparkle, but I is doin’ ma best - and we’re off! Oh no! The sacred belt is back - and embellishing a Vermin creation consisting of a er - well, it’s an orange sheet, isn‘t it? Lovely!   
I’m trying my best to fade out Forsyth - his ‘jokes’ on top of tonsillitis are enough to make me lose the will to live.

Tiny NoBrain and The Goofy American Kid - scratched (teehee) due to chickenpox!

The Ex-Eastender and The Russian Bloke
What a pair of bores these two are - still he must have a sense of humour, he’s wearing Simon Cowell’s trousers! Never mind - I like the quickstep - erm - why aren’t they doing one - Oh, they are - sort of, complete with a race to the dance-floor, a cartwheel and a bit of disco-dancing! I am absolutely *hating* the so-called ‘dancing’ this year, just hating it!

Vinthent and ’Bendy’ Flith
I love Vinthent, the dear little deluded thtallion! Hell’th Bellth - she’th thupple - I’d thnap like a twig if anyone tried to bend me backwardth or forthe me into the thplith. I loved thith - lovely muthic, romantic and thenthual - no doubt it was far too much a proper danthe to attract good markth thince it didn’t have a gimmick beginning and ending!

The Serial Bride and Viktor Krum
God, I *hate* these stupid beginnings - why can’t they just get on and dance, for f*ck’s sake? Hated the frock, and for most of the actual dance she looked as if she was chasing him without much hope of ever catching him up! Maybe they should have a go at Quidditch instead? Bertie Wooster would never have danced like that or to that totally inappropriate music.

Millionaire Paul Daniels and The Jordan (female)
What am I supposed to write? It’s just … just … just an example of the total farce this programme has become. There’s no way he’ll be voted off because the GBP are too bliddy stupid to do so - I also wonder how much the lovely Debbie McGee stands to inherit should this fiasco prove too much for the poor old buffer?

The Red Peril and Blue Peter Matt
Forsyth is utterly disgusting. And we’re off - him with the Hitler hair and her with a frock clashing horribly with her hair. Oh, yawn - another gimmick beginning, wiping the floor with her. Yes, yes - very good, like a pair of overwound clockwork toys running amok - are we supposed to keep on pretending he’s had no dance-training prior to this? I quite liked the bit when he danced like Groucho Marx, but I don’t know if he actually meant to!   

Welsh Gav and the Kanadian Kat
Yawn - not another showmance! Get on, do! Oh, what a pretty dress and he looks gorjus, bless him! I know, I know - but I think he’s sweet - love the music, love the dance and he’s *trying*. I just wish he could relax, and didn’t look so shy and awkward. Poor bairn!

Phil from the Bill and Tina Sparkle
Let’s draw a veil over the stupid gimmicky beginning - loved it - skippy, frothy, light and bouncy, quick, quick, quick and both gorgeous - I wanted to get up and dance with them! What a choreographer the Sparkler is - but I don’t like them - no, no - I don’t like them a bit (glancing furtively over my shoulder lest the gods of dance hear me and cast the Curse of Aida)!

The Destiny’s Child and Brenda(n)
Ghastly from the very first pose - why is she got up as Pocohontas? Surely, for the sake of her sanity, they should go this week - they aren’t even gob-smackingly funny like Daniels and the Wid. What’s wrong with t’joodges - why don’t they tell the truth - that she dances like Big Bird from Sesame Street! I fear Alesha and Bruno are drunk!

Shilts and The Survivor
Here he comes - the genial gorilla! Well, it looked like a real quickstep and was better than passable, despite the best efforts of the male singer to put them off by beginning the song out of tune. Why have *all* the men dancing the quickstep got the Hitler hair (apart from Viktor Krum who hasn’t any hair at all) Best frock of the night - as usual - worn by Erin!

Jimmy Mystery and Fast Flav
He’s such a total sweetie it’s impossible to dislike him - I still dislike her - a lot - and despite what t‘joodges had to say, I quite enjoyed it!

Ann Hardy and Anton Laurel
Hilarious! I instantly remembered a scene from ‘Young Frankenstein’ where Dr F and The Monster danced to this song - and they did it a lot better than these two bozos! Will the GBP vote them off? Not bliddy likely if the baying, hooting eejits in the audience are anything to go by.

Pammie and The Jordan (male)
Hmmm - I don’t think Baco-Foil was a good choice for a frock - yes, yes, very good - I’m just not feeling the love for them at all - and my throat is closing up - and I have a temperature - and I’m going to bed with my soup now because I simply can‘t bear to watch the hubba and cats eat my supper!

I’ll be back later to see the spoiler - have a nice evening, possums!











Cats were once worshipped as gods in Ancient Egypt. They've never forgotten this.

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Bren View Drop Down
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  Quote Bren Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 16 Oct 2010 at 20:03
Oh Aida another great blog get well soon
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  Quote terrip Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 16 Oct 2010 at 20:36
Wish you better Aida.  As usual - your take on the 'dancing' is better than the show itself.
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  Quote anniemay Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 16 Oct 2010 at 21:16
I`,m sorry that your feeling proper poorly, but you still managed a great blog.
 
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  Quote Tups Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 16 Oct 2010 at 22:19
Hope you feel better soon Aida.. brilliant blog ..as usual xx
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  Quote fantasticfoxy Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 17 Oct 2010 at 08:42
Oh Aida, hope you feel better soon, but brilliant write up nevertheless
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  Quote Stanmorewitch Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 17 Oct 2010 at 10:29
 Aida, you a such a hero, even writing such a witty blog from your sick bed--wonderful and get well soon.
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