I'm a celebrity get me out of hereThe X-Factor 2010Dancing On Ice 2011Big Brother 2011SCD 2012 ForumDancing with the Stars 2011


Big Brother 2013 Forum

The Blue Room Homepage
Forum Home Forum Home > Reality TV > The Apprentice
  Active Topics Active Topics
  FAQ FAQ  Forum Search   Register Register  Login Login

Apprentice Episode 1 A new nitwit emerges

 Post Reply Post Reply
Author
Message
  Topic Search Topic Search  Topic Options Topic Options
Bren View Drop Down
Vintage Vamp
Vintage Vamp
Avatar
Private Dancer

Joined: 19 Jan 2004
Location: United Kingdom
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 61031
  Quote Bren Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Topic: Apprentice Episode 1 A new nitwit emerges
    Posted: 07 Oct 2010 at 12:57

The Apprentice 2010, BBC One, episode one review: a new nitwit emerges

As The Apprentice returns to BBC One, Andrew Pettie reviews the opening episode in which viewers were introduced to Lord Sugar's new aide Karren Brady and a fresh batch of candidates, including Stuart Baggs "The Brand".

 

By Andrew Pettie
Published: 10:00PM BST 06 Oct 2010

7 Comments

Jamie%20Lester%20and%20Stuart%20Baggs%20clash%20during%20their%20task%20in%20the%20first%20episode%20of%20the%202010%20run%20of%20the%20BBCs%20reality%20recruitment%20series%20The%20Apprentice.
Jamie Lester and Stuart Baggs clash during their task in the first episode of the 2010 run of the BBC's reality recruitment series The Apprentice. Photo: BBC

Meet Stuart Baggs, a 21-year-old telecoms entrepreneur who last night became the youngest candidate ever to appear on The Apprentice (BBC One). On paper he sounds rather impressive. Stuart’s business career started on the playground, where he sold yo-yos to classmates. Then, barely in long trousers, he launched his own telecommunications company at the age of 18. Even his hobbies conform to the stereotype of the thrusting young executive: when he’s not pushing envelopes, actioning tasks and taking the helicopter view, Stuart likes to go rock-climbing, abseiling and powerboat racing. And, in the nauseating phrase of one of last year’s candidates, he would appear to possess the full “rainbow of skills” required to succeed in business.

However, as Lord Sugar knows to his cost, CVs can be misleading. (“I’ve read all your CVs,” thundered the peeved peer in his boardroom, “and on paper you all look very good. But then again, so do fish and chips.”) And, sure enough, the moment Stuart found himself within bragging distance of a TV camera, a torrent of self-aggrandising guff poured forth with the kind of speed and fluency that hasn’t been witnessed on The Apprentice viewers since the glory days of Raef Bjayou in series four.

As usual, the 16 candidates had been set an apparently simple task: to make and sell sausages. The girls’ team did quite well. Their pricing strategy added up, they showed flashes of competence and their expensive gourmet sausages looked appetising and, more to the point, like sausages. None of this could be said of the boys’ efforts.

Determined to make the cheapest, ghastliest tubes of meat possible, the boys refused to waste any time planning the task and got straight down to the urgent business of bellowing insults at one another. Team captain Dan Harris, a sales director who once played a soldier in Steven Spielberg’s Saving Private Ryan, appeared to believe that he was once again at war.

“Who is doing the MINCING?!” roared Dan like Russell Crowe in Gladiator, as one of his team scuttled past with a bucket of gristle. “Who the ---- is it? Step up!” Unfortunately for Dan no one did. And, needless to say, he was too busy screaming obscenities to do anything useful. There are clearly two things that Dan Harris will never mince: i)his words, ii) mince. His browbeaten underlings, on the other hand, were too busy sharpening their butcher’s knives in preparation for the inevitable boardroom showdown to come.

But before one of them was fired, the boys had a van-load of disgusting sausages to sell. An expert salesman was required. Someone with the charm of a Michelin-starred maître d’ and the killer instincts of a great white shark. Luckily Stuart Baggs knew just such a man. In fact, he had alerted viewers to this extraordinary individual earlier in the show. “I’m Stuart Baggs: the brand,” he had said by way of introduction, “and whatever I touch turns to sold.” In truth, Stuart did flog a few dozen sausages to bewildered passers-by. When anyone politely declined, however, this consummate selling machine resorted to plan B: verbally abusing them. Dan, meanwhile, adopted the more imaginative (though even less successful) strategy of trying to sell his sausages wholesale to a florist.

With the girls making a slightly bigger profit, the boardroom line-up was as follows: Dan the Mouth, Stuart the Brand and Alex the Unemployed Communications Executive who, incidentally, “credits himself with inventing the bendy bus”. (Though just to be clear, he didn’t.)

In recent series, candidates have become fractionally more self-aware in the boardroom, knowing what to say to curry favour or earn a reprieve. Refreshingly, this trio went straight for the jugular and almost had to be physically restrained before Lord Sugar did the necessary and fired Dan.

I’m just grateful that Stuart was spared. He may not deserve a £100,000-a-year job but anyone capable of uttering the following sentence should be awarded some kind of prize: “I’m alive. There are so many people that aren’t alive or have died, unfortunately. I’m alive, and that’s a gift, frankly. I wake up every morning, once I’ve had the sleep I need, and I go out and make money.” Or rancid sausages.

The Apprentice may look and feel just the same as it did in 2005, when it began, but the show’s trump card remains its ability to unearth gloriously self-delusional nincompoops. I feel sure that in the weeks to come Stuart Baggs the Brand will join Lord Sugar’s pantheon of corporate clowns alongside Paul Tulip, Tre Azam and dear old Raef.

Britain may be in the grip of recession, but in the field of blithering idiocy we remain market leaders.


Telegraph

Edited by Bren - 07 Oct 2010 at 12:59
Back to Top
Bren View Drop Down
Vintage Vamp
Vintage Vamp
Avatar
Private Dancer

Joined: 19 Jan 2004
Location: United Kingdom
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 61031
  Quote Bren Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07 Oct 2010 at 12:57
The Apprentice may look and feel just the same as it did in 2005, when it began, but the show’s trump card remains its ability to unearth gloriously self-delusional nincompoops. I feel sure that in the weeks to come Stuart Baggs the Brand will join Lord Sugar’s pantheon of corporate clowns alongside Paul Tulip, Tre Azam and dear old Raef.



ClapLOL


Edited by Bren - 07 Oct 2010 at 12:59
Back to Top
Jonnyboy View Drop Down
Admin Group
Admin Group
Avatar
Gonk

Joined: 19 Dec 2003
Location: United Kingdom
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 21609
  Quote Jonnyboy Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 08 Oct 2010 at 11:45
Great post, Stuart Baggs the Brand is definitely one of the comedy factors this year
Back to Top
 Post Reply Post Reply

Forum Jump Forum Permissions View Drop Down


Click Here to Visit!
Sirlinksalot:bigbrother Reality TV Links:Bigbrother