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Why we love Apprentice:It's the idiot Olympics

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Bren View Drop Down
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  Quote Bren Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Topic: Why we love Apprentice:It's the idiot Olympics
    Posted: 04 Oct 2010 at 11:50

Why we love The Apprentice: It's the idiot Olympics

Alan%20SugarAOL's very own Apprentice expert Mic Wright tells us why the Apprentice is always such a hit...

Alan Sugar loves to claim that The Apprentice is a business programme but deep down, even he knows that's as ridiculous as the Amstrad Emailer.

The Apprentice is a brilliant live action cartoon, a kind of mini-Olympics for morons.

Each year we're introduced to a new cast of deluded wannabe millionaires willing to embarrass themselves in the hope of a job at one of one of Lord Sugar's most obscure subsidiaries (fancy selling digital signage or hair removal equipment?).

The only possible way you could relate The Apprentice to real business is as an Absolutely How Not To... guide.

Remember self-styled "good Jewish boy" Michael trying to pass off a Halal chicken as Kosher back in 2008? Or last season's comical bad guy, the almost superhumanly arrogant Philip and his timeless creation Pantsman? A character so disturbing it belonged in the realm of specialist Manga, rather than flogging sugary breakfast cereal to kids.

This year's group of suited and booted buffoons looks like one of the most promising explosions of ego and idiocy we've ever seen. Our initial favourites; Alex Epstein, the 26-year-old who looks like a 40-year old caveman, Liz Locke who compares herself to a Lamborghini (presumably she doesn't mean prone to breakdowns and bought by Arabs), Stuart Baggs who talks in the third person and burbles on about "Stuart Baggs – The Brand".

The brilliance of The Apprentice rests on the vast gulf between the contestants' Gordon Gecko acts and the reality of their inevitably Mr Bean-esque performances in the challenges. Regardless of Sugar's long lists of things he doesn't like: "I don't like liars, I don't like bullsh***ers...I don't like Mondays", we're guaranteed all of those things and more. Sat at home, you become an arm chair business genius, watching as the hopefuls go horrendously wrong and revelling in it.

And there's always Lord Sugar's (and effectively our) representatives Nick Hewer and Karen Brady stood on the sidelines to shake their heads disapprovingly. Hewer has turned exasperated eye-rolling into an art form while Brady stepped ably into Margaret Mountford's sensible shoes in Junior Apprentice and will deploy her full ire on the adult contestants.

Meanwhile Sugar lords it up in the boardroom like a Roman emperor rerouted via East London, the barrow boy tyrant of all he surveys, The Apprentice as his coliseum. In place of lions, the contestants find themselves facing daunting tasks like facing the voracious hordes watching QVC.

The Apprentice is as predictable as a Wile E Coyote cartoon. Just as he'd light the ACME rocket wrongly and end up with it exploding in his face, we'll watch The Apprentice wannabes bicker, backstab and show the negotiating acumen of a piglet in a slaughter house. The enjoyment rests in how low they can go, the vast difference between their pre-show claims about being "hyper-achievers" and the boardroom grovelling for a second chance.

In a political climate where bashing businessmen has become a national sport, a gang of buffoons comprised of investment bankers, estate agents and "marketing gurus" is fair game. Without a public vote, The Apprentice isn't about who we like the most, it's who we dislike that counts. There are few moments on TV that can match Sugar tearing apart a feeble performance in his pretend boardroom and there's 12 weeks worth to savour.

Roll on "the job interview from hell...", we've got a blood lust that needs sating.

What do you think? Is The Apprentice the idiot Olympics?

The Apprentice starts on BBC1 at 9pm on Wednesday October 6.

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  Quote Alex Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 04 Oct 2010 at 12:55
*looks up Amstrad emailer* WTF is that? Confused


Originally posted by Bren

This year's group of suited and booted buffoons looks like one of the most promising explosions of ego and idiocy we've ever seen.

Meanwhile Sugar lords it up in the boardroom like a Roman emperor rerouted via East London, the barrow boy tyrant of all he surveys, The Apprentice as his coliseum. In place of lions, the contestants find themselves facing daunting tasks like facing the voracious hordes watching QVC.


REALLY looking forward to this series; corrupt, bullshitting chancers = perfection!
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