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Telly tubbies hit a sad note for X Factor

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James View Drop Down
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  Quote James Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Topic: Telly tubbies hit a sad note for X Factor
    Posted: 07 Sep 2010 at 17:59

Occasionally a moment of television conveys such horror the memory of it remains with us a lifetime.

And so it was on Saturday night’s X Factor when Abbey Johnston, 18, and Lisa Parker, 17, fresh out of the Vicky Pollard charm school, waddled on to the stage to sing Shayne Ward’s song That’s My Goal – though I use the term “sing” loosely.

Even managing to string together a few coherent sentences was quite beyond this pair of lardbuckets who, having announced they were “majorly whoah”, rounded off their talentless display with Abbey slinging a right hook at Lisa’s head… though only after insulting guest judge Natalie Imbruglia.

This wasn’t even car-crash television, it was The Teletubbies-cum-Frankenstein’s monster, another scary creature manufactured by mankind to inflict terror on us all.

Like the legendary monster they appeared to have not even the remotest knowledge of their gene pool. “Are you sisters or friends?” asked Simon Cowell.

They weren’t sure – except one might be the daughter of a cousin or you know, whatever.

God, where do these people come from? Credit to Cowell who, recognising this to be the definitive watercooler moment of the series so far, allowed them to preview the audition – to be sure they were happy with the bust-up being broadcast.

Smart move.

But an alarming reminder of exactly what extreme lengths impressionable teenagers will go to for a pathetic five minutes of fame.

Of course they wanted, whatever the cost, to be seen by the great British public because as Lisa explained trotting out that weary old cliche, “we wanna live the dream”.

Don’t these silly girls with brains the size of garden peas know that, compared to kids in less privileged countries, they are living the dream?

The failings of our society may be many but Abbey and Lisa are blessed with the freedom to come and go as they please, even if that involves making idiots of themselves on national television.

Their education, of which admittedly there was little real evidence, is paid for. In sickness they will be cared for by the state and should they fail in their bid to conquer the music business (no sniggering at the back please) the bottomless pit that is our benefit system will cosset them.

Let’s just hope , if this pair have learned nothing from their display of appalling behaviour, other wannabe teenagers will be deterred from pursuing fame for the sake of it.
I hope so because Abbey and Lisa belittled a show which has been a lifeline to the truly talented, hardworking and deserving.

Sadly, I understand they now plan to take singing lessons.

Woe indeed. Majorly.

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