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SCD Show 9 November 14th

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Bren View Drop Down
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  Quote Bren Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Topic: SCD Show 9 November 14th
    Posted: 14 Nov 2009 at 21:13
thread ready for you Aida

Edited by Bren - 15 Nov 2009 at 03:05
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  Quote Aida Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15 Nov 2009 at 00:30
Thank you, Bren!

Well, I never!   My flabber has never been more gasted! I tuned in tonight in a fever of excitement and anticipation for a total car-crash of a show - and what did I get? Tactless Tess stepping up to the plate and, while retaining her ’Tactless Title’ by mentioning knee injuries more than was necessary, she more than coped seamlessly with running the show in a relaxed and highly enjoyable manner. I shall also have to eat my words and preconceptions about La Winklepicker - she was simply marvellous in the Boudoir!

Between them, despite the banal interruptions of that old chuffer Corbett who seemed determined to work through his entire back-catalogue of his own and Pop Forsyth’s old material, Tess and Claudia made a fine case for continuing to run the show themselves ad infinitum! I always speak my mind, and all I can say is that I came to mock and now I find myself saluting the pair of you!

This review is coming from a quiet and lonely Pyramid tonight - the hubba has gone off to Wiltshire on his annual pilgrimage to see his aged parents - the rat - leaving me all alone with five rabid cats, two of whom have decided they hate one another, and nobody to share a Chinese supper and a few (quite a few drinks) with! :(
I had to plump for a boring bit of roast chicken and rice - and I had to fight the felines for every mouthful. Never mind - at least my lovely boy bought me a bottle of pink fizz, a box of Marks & Spencer sparkly cupcakes, and some beautiful chocolates to comfort me while he’s away.

Okay - on with the motley!
Ooooh, look - it’s Mr. Toad! Correction - it’s teeny Corbett titupping down the stairs - and up the stairs - and - Oh for God’s sake, make your mind up, you ninny! Oh, he has - and what a surprise, Tactless does the leg support thingy - I write this blog on my computer, so I can’t use the Blue Room smilies, just insert your own ‘rolling eyes’ icon!
Tess’s frock seems to include some kind of sideways baby-harness/holster, presumably to stow lickle Ronnie in if the going gets too much for him - apart from that, Vermin really seems to have got the hang of boning a bodice.

Oh blimey - somebody must have pressed his pacemaker telemetry backstage and he’s off - and giving us almost his full repertoire of ‘short’ jokes - shut up, shut up, shut up, you old muppet! Tess should have secreted a chloroform pad about her person, it’s the only way the old buffer is ever going to shut up - no - I was wrong, she’s shut him up and moved on! Well done, that woman!

What’s this? Only seven cupples - dear me, Jade seems in a bit of a state - I can sympathise, I have a wonky knee myself ever since I fell over the junior cat and exacerbated an injury initially caused by lepping up to try to do the saaarmba with my original beloved Ian and Zoë Ball - hmmmm - now Ian’s an accessory after the fact to Jade’s knee too - Oh well, he’s far too beautiful to be guilty as charged! Get well, Jade dear, as soon as possible - and thank you for giving me less writing to do tonight! :D

Quick, get shot of Corbett before he can strike up again and get the first cupple on to the floor - and first out tonight are Tuffers and The Kanadian Kat, both looking lovely - her in a gown of a beautiful hue and the Tuff in immaculate tails! I like the American Smooth, I like the music, I like this cupple and I still think he has an easy grace which makes his dancing look relaxed and unforced. Very nice, I might vote for them!

Feathers Whittle and Tina Sparkle
Rats! The bliddy jive! What on earth are they got up as? I’m sure they were wonderful, but they bore me to tears - fortunately, I was diverted as the oven pinger pinged and I dashed off to retrieve my supper, returning to the previously empty living-room to find it populated by four cats who had evidently beamed down from upstairs and were metaphorically straightening their napkins and getting ready for the feast. I was just in time to catch Bruno teetering on the brink of his first cadenza of the night, fortunately, he reined himself in a bit.

Just a second - where’s Corbett - Oh, there’s the little blister, sat in the audience next to the Perplexed Pixie - thank God for that!

Ricky Goldfish and my former favourite, Erin.
What a divine gown, she looks wonderful, but is that a wig I spy? And why is the Goldfish wearing specs? Oh, never mind, on with the Viennese Whirl - whirled to ‘Nights in White Satin’ which was utterly slaughtered by the male screechy singer. They looked all right to me, but I was unable to check because the hubba, before he left, took umbrage at my jocular remarks about his mother and fiendishly put my Victor Silvester ‘Modern Ballroom Dancing’ book on top of the highest cupboard in the kitchen!

Speaking of mothers, here he comes, lickle Smuggo Baggins and Ooh-la-la - Ooh in an absolutely ghastly frock and Smuggo clutching a cape. They must be doing the paso doble! Hahahahahahaha - they’re off, and the music is horrid and the cape-waving pathetic and reminiscent of someone trying to tie on a headscarf in a high wind - Ohmigod, I’m laughing so much I’ve dropped my chicken and knocked my glass of bubbly over trying to grab the Ventolin - hahahahahahahaha - look at the mug on him, stop it, please - I’m dying for a wee and if this keeps up, I could end up ‘baptising’ a cat or two - HAHAHAHAHAHA - now he’s having a toddler tantrum - it’s no good, I’ll have to dash to the loo. Would you believe it, when I got back bliddy Bruno had pinched my remark, but I’m not changing it because I thought of it first - Pop Goodman and Alesha must be drunk or high if they think that was good - wake up, Princess - and as for you Pop, borrow the Goldfish’s specs, you old loony! Next!

Laila and The Berk
Oh no, not another wounded soldier! I hope she doesn’t imagine for a split-second that the inadequate scrap of single Tubigrip she has on her foot and ankle is giving any support or doing any good at all?   Pretty coloured frock, but too much fringing - oooh, how *dare* they dance to Matthew and Alesha’s song from last year - well, they’ve stopped now, presumably because she can’t dance on, poor lass - she does look in pain, if somebody had had the sense to strap that foot and ankle - firmly - with Elastoplast strapping, she’d have been a lot more comfortable.   La Winkleman superb backstage, showing genuine empathy and consideration - did anyone else catch the Hobbit’s rolled eyes and the sour look on the face of Tina Sparkle - see - the Sparkle knows, as do we all, about the power of the - (drum roll) - Sympathy Vote! O.O

Nat’lie and Vinthent
Aww, don’t they look ad-or-able - gorgeous frock, love the 30’s hair, and Vinthent lookth a dapper little darling, like alwayth. Love the muthic, love the danthe - I know, I know - I’m biathed, but I jutht can’t help loving them! I’m going to vote for them - maybe even three timeth - but I’ll pretend I’m voting for Featherth tho the Curthe of Aida doethn’t fall on them!

Princess Ali and Prince Charming USA
Another set of favourites - even if they *are* doing the char char char! They both look gorgeous, even with fringing and they seem to give it lots of ‘oomph’ - it’s not her fault she’s too much of a lady to do ‘slutty’ - I never actually realised that the char x 3 was supposed to be a sexy dance - I thought it was just something people did when they got too old and stiff to jive! I would have consulted Victor S, but he’s on top of the kitchen cupboard, and anyway, I don’t think there are any Latin dances in the book!
I shall vote for these two as well - but this time, I’ll tell the cats I’m voting for Smuggo, lest the Curse fall on my chosen ones.

Right, now provided they can get away with preventing Corbett from settling down and telling a few ‘jokes’ (I use the term loosely), this has been a very good and pleasing little show.

What have they got for the filler entertainment - didn’t someone threaten the first and worst of the yodelling warblers, Mariah Carey - no, we've been reprieved - we have our Brian and The Hussy dancing bolero - hmmmm - well, I’ve never seen Torville and Dean comport themselves like that - and what a horrible colour fabric offcut she has draped around herself. This is B.O.R.I.N.G. - I think Brian’s Mam should forbid him to dance with that floozy, ever again.

Back to Corbett and the Perplexed Pixie and one of the girls - I forget which - ooooh, isn’t that Lionel Blair sitting behind them - I love Lionel - years and years ago, I saw him in Boots in Newcastle buying hair-dye and when he saw me staring, he gave me the most hilarious conspiratorial wink and we both burst out laughing - he looks *tons* better with his natural colour hair - why couldn’t the powers-that-be at the Beeb given him this gig - not that the girls actually needed anyone!

What’s next - I’m getting bored now, I'm wore out from screaming at the cats who have taken every single toy out of their box and brought them to the living-room, and I'm feeling a bit miffed and lonely since I’ve had to make my own cup of coffee - never mind - I’ve got a M&S strawberry cupcake with pink sparkles to eat - and - Omigod, OmiGOD - look at Matthew - Ohhh - he’s looking absolutely and utterly divine - he’s …..

….. I must have passed out - perhaps the hubba zapped me telekinetically from Wiltshire because he knew that I was on the point of committing mental adultery - now Il Divino has gone and there are some blokes in red blazers warbling on while a lot of homeless people cavort around - and the worst of it is, while I lay unconscious, those bliddy cats have licked all the pink icing (and sparkles) off my cake!

And so the long evening draws to a close and we have The Dance-Off - no surprises there, then - the Sympathy vote strikes again - Tata, Tuffers - I really liked you and I hope to see the Kanadian Kat back next series.

I hope all the hobbling wounded get well very soon - and I hope Pop Forsyth is soon feeling much better - take a loooong convalescence, Pop - the show is safe in the hands of Tactless and La Winklepicker so the Beeb can put Corbett back into cryogenic storage!




Edited by Aida - 15 Nov 2009 at 00:49

Cats were once worshipped as gods in Ancient Egypt. They've never forgotten this.

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  Quote Bren Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15 Nov 2009 at 01:42
thanks Aida your take on the show was actually better than watching it !!
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  Quote BCfan Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15 Nov 2009 at 02:08
Forum Gold Aida.Clap
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  Quote Tups Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15 Nov 2009 at 02:35
thank you Aida.. brilliant.. as usual.. as Bren says.. even better than the show!
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  Quote killersbee Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15 Nov 2009 at 11:10
I can agree with a lot on your post, Aida
Catwoman: "For one if I was a bloke, I would not flirt with you two. I have standards."
Toots: "If I had a figure like Ola's, I'd wear that outfit to Sainsburys!"
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  Quote BambionIce Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15 Nov 2009 at 11:24

Thank you, Aida!  Hilarious and to-the-point as everClapTotally agree about Claudia: I was concerned about her, knowing how ITT goes, but she was genuine, amusing, and thoroughly professional backstage. 

As for the intervention of Brian's mother... hear, hear! Brilliant!

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  Quote Fleckerl Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 16 Nov 2009 at 11:12
Best laugh all weekend. I wait for this thread!
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  Quote Flora Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 16 Nov 2009 at 21:15
Originally posted by Fleckerl

Best laugh all weekend. I wait for this thread!
So do I and as ever Aida nerver fails to please. Even the OH asks if Aida has posted yet as he loves her witticisms too
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  Quote Thess Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 17 Nov 2009 at 01:36
Loving your work Aida, you never fail to make me laugh.  Will the hubba be back next week in time to refresh you G&T's?  
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  Quote Aida Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 17 Nov 2009 at 13:10
Thanks, amici , for the lovely comments!

The hubba will be back at his post by Saturday, thank the Lord - in fact, he should be here later on today!

Cats were once worshipped as gods in Ancient Egypt. They've never forgotten this.

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  Quote Cuddlyhippo Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 19 Nov 2009 at 00:09
brilliant you are Aida! Clap
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