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SCD show 8 7th November 2009

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Bren View Drop Down
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  Quote Bren Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Topic: SCD show 8 7th November 2009
    Posted: 07 Nov 2009 at 18:35
ready for you aida
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  Quote Aida Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 08 Nov 2009 at 00:34
Thanks, Bren! :D

I hope that regular visitors to my blog will be pleased to hear that the hubba, always a stickler for accuracy, has bought me a book he found at his favourite flea-market to help me achieve a bit more accuracy when describing the ballroom dances - it’s called, ‘Victor Sylvester’s Modern Ballroom Dancing’ and cost 5 shillings when it was first published in 1943! I know, I know - it’s a bit old, but so are Len and Pop Forsyth - things can’t have changed that much!
I’ve not had a chance to check out what Victor considers the standards for this week’s dances, but I’ll be on top of it by next week, I’m sure!

As a taster, I managed to coax the hubba to learn a bit of the waltz out of the book, despite his reluctance and darkly foreboding remarks that it would turn out like the time we tried to learn ‘saaarmba rolls’ and knocked all of the ornaments off the mantelpiece.
Anyway, we both studied the book, then got into the hold recommended by Victor, and on me crying, “One - two - three’, we both stepped confidently forward, my foot crunching on top of his as my head slammed against his sternum.
“You learned the man’s steps, you silly tart!”, he moaned, limping off to study the menu for the Chinese and sulk in the kitchen, all the while clutching his chest in a marked manner - that’ll teach him to take the piss out of me buying ancient dancing books!

Never mind! Blackpool at last! I’m right excited because I’ve been to the Tower Ballroom and it’s gaudy and overdone and simply, absolutely and utterly MARVELLOUS! And here they come, the clowns in charge of the whole circus, Tactless Tess’s horror of a frock clashing terribly with the scarlet curtains and carpets. Poor Vermin mustn’t have had time to make a new frock this week and just did the best he could with some crepe bandages dyed in garish shades of pink and set off with a scarlet poppy - the word ‘frightful’ doesn’t seem strong enough, somehow! Oh Lordy - here come ’the stars of our show’ and they’re *all* wearing poppies too, some of them appearing in quite unexpected places - and there seem to have been some extra blighters sneaked into the band - never mind, get on, get on, get on …

And first up we have
Feathers McGraw and Tina Sparkle doing the tango to the Kinks! Erm, why? Don’t the augmented band know any tango music? Decent enough frock, Parma Violet purple and sparkly - I know I’m not struck on them, but I’m sure they collided just like me and the hubba a few times, no doubt the judges will think they were fab-u-lous! Surprise, surprise - they don’t - teehee - they’re being critical, well, apart from Bruno who is clearly so excited by being at Blackpool he launches straight into his first cadenza of the night! I’m not a bit convinced by Feathers’ attempt at a ‘humble face’ and I bet he’s secretly foaming at the mouth about being on first. Oh for the love of God, Old Pop Goodman’s off on his ‘You come out here ‘ spiel - I wish somebody would ’come out there’ and smack him in the mouth!

Natalie Eastender and Vinthent
Lovely frock, beautiful colour and she looks very pretty! I love the quickthtep and I’m loving thethe two more and more every week - Vinthent ith a lovely little danther and although I thometimeth think he maketh the danthes a bit too diffy for Natth, she trieth really, really hard to keep up with him. I don’t care what the judgeth thay, I’m going to throw caution to the windth and vote for them tonight, thimultaneouthly praying that the Curthe of Aida doesth’nt dethend on them! O.O   Another cadentha from Bruno, thith time half in Italian - assete te, idioto!

Jumping Jade and Ian, My Original Beloved
Oo-er - a lime-green poncho! Is it Clint Eastwood night? Oh rats, they’re doing the bliddy jive - ah well, Ian looks positively delicious tonight and the dance turned out a lot more interesting than I thought it would, with lots of good kicky bits - I actually enjoyed it. Eeeek - did Alesha just call Jade a ‘dark horse’? Careful, Princess - you know how touchy the ‘Daily Heil’ readers are, by Monday you could find yourself branded a racist! O.O

P.C. Princess Ali and Prince Charming USA
Looking as adorable and toothsome as if they’d just stepped off the top of a classy wedding-cake and dancing the Viennese Whirl - beautifully to my amateur eyes - I loved it and might even vote for them too, whatever the judges say! Heavens to Betsy - they all thought it was beautiful too - maybe my studies of Victor Silvester have given me a new insight! Bravi, bravissimi!   I bet the backstage helpers had to give Feathers the sedative they’d drawn up for Bruno!

Ricky Goldfish and Erin, my former favourite.
The hubba thought her ‘frock’ looked like something from ‘Barbarella’, I thought her hair looked like something from a ‘before’ ad, she certainly looks a lot less elegant this series, poor soul. Oh no, not the salsa! I hate the salsa almost as much as I hate the jive and the char char char, but thankfully, they didn’t do one - they just did a lot of larking around and the Goldfish did a bit of leaping pointlessly hither and thither. I laughed quite a lot, but carefully, as the Chinese supper had arrived by then and I didn’t want to either choke to death or risk opening my mouth wide enough for the junior cat to try to insert his head or paw in order to grab whatever morsel of food I was eating. I’m not exaggerating - he’s done it before.
Oooh, Bruno’s up, ranting and dancing - better draw up another few mls of the sedative, he’s definitely going to need it before much longer.

Lai-la-a-a-a and The Berk
I love the paso, I love this song, and I don’t know what The Berk was like because I couldn’t take my eyes off her - she was stunning - I’m sorry, Cool Bluers, but I just loved this - not enough to vote for them - but I loved it - and so did Bruno - and so did my dear lickle soul-mate, Alesha - good girl, Princess! :D

Tuffers and the Kat
Crikey! Another poncho - did Wardrobe forget a hamper and just make do with sparkly bathers and draped scarves? The Kat deserves better than that, bless her! And we’re off, and isn’t that music a bit fast for a rumba? I’d go and check what Victor S had to say, but I’m at an important part of the supper now and it would be gastronomic suicide to abandon my plate while surrounded by four wowling cats, all jostling for position and ready to pounce if my attention wanders for a moment. I’m afraid I didn’t see a lot of the dance, but I heard enough to decide that the ‘singer’ should have been shot. Anyway, I like the old Tuff, so I’m sure I would have liked it!

Smuggo Baggins and Ooh-la-la
This pair make me sick - actually, they nearly literally made me sick because I recklessly quipped to the hubba, “He has just the sort of face I’d never get tired of slapping!”, then, like Bruno, laughed at my own joke and inadvertently swallowed a prawn the wrong way. This mishap instantly resulted in frenzied coughing, my face turning an interesting shade of mottled purple and the instant theft of a choice piece of chicken I’d been saving until last, three prawns and two spare rib chops! While multicoloured spots and my past life danced before my bulging eyes, the hubba kept on chomping stoically, waiting until I’d managed to clear my airway and was gasping for air before saying serenely, “God paid you back straight away for being spiteful, didn’t He?”
So all in all, I didn’t see much of Smuggo’s foxtrot - but I did see The Mother sat in the audience - well, it wouldn’t be a show without Punch (or Judy) would it?

And finally, folks
The Blackpool Bleater and Fast Flavs.
What a surprise, eh - the whinging blister’s on last, and he’s *still* convinced he can dance - talk about ‘Delusions ‘R’ Us’! I’d abandoned the supper by now, turned up the telly to dampen the sound of the cats ’Num-numming’ their way through the remains of it and soothed my burning throat with a long, cold swig of G&T. Refreshed, I felt well enough to roar with laughter at his simpering, his mincing around the floor and his full range of loony facial expressions as he demonstrated possibly the worst char char char I’ve ever seen in my life. His arrogant conviction that he actually *can* dance made me glad that the judges went for him like dogs at broth - I couldn’t believe it when he told Tactless that his score was ‘disgraceful’ - surely this arrogant, charmless chuffer *has* to go tonight?

Now we have what seems like aeons of ‘filler’, beginning with a sweet Professionals Viennese Whirl which takes me back to the dear old days of the formation dancers on ’Come Dancing’ - spotting Gnasher hoving into view, I dashed off to the kitchen to refresh my drink, only to return and wonder for one surreal moment why they were showing a clip of Statler and Waldorf of ‘The Muppets’ fame only to realise that it was just Pop Forsyth on a balcony with a bunch of pensioners!

Oh, heaven forfend - it’s the bliddy Ha’apenny in a sparkly Union Jack bather - gerrouttatheway, you simpleton - I want to see Mr. Matthew! At this point, the hubba started yipping on about not seeing his Lilia all night, even though she was right there on the telly, before his very eyes. I told him. He changed his glasses to see her better and grumbled that it’s been so long since he saw her, he’d forgotten what she looked like which came as no surprise to me - I always say that if I went missing, he’d be hard pushed to tell the police what colour eyes I have.

I think I swooned from sheer horror when Pop Forsyth launched into his song and dance, and when I came round I nearly went off again thinking he was still going, but it was only Rod Stewart who broke the mould of recent guests and actually sang a decent song, in tune.

Just as I laughingly remarked to the hubba, “D’you remember that great Amazon of a wife of his who was nearly the death of my darling Matthew?”, said Amazon came striding on to the floor, accompanied by Il Divino himself, looking dee-li-cious and hot enough to leave scorched footprints on the floor. I love him soooo much, the hubba is under strict instructions that if the Divine One ever turns up at our door and wants me to run away with him, he’s not to try to intervene. He agreed, while reminding me that the same criteria apply if Lilia ever turns up for him.

At last - the dance-off - and yippee - it’s between the Goldfish and the Pixie - surely those judges wouldn’t dare vote the useless so-and-so through after all they had to say - and they didn’t - all together now - Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hall -ay-ay-loooo-yaaaaaah!



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  Quote BCfan Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 08 Nov 2009 at 00:49
ClapThank you Aida.  Love the comments about "Pop Forsyth".
 
As you know, I share every comment and thought and dream you have about Mr CutlerLOL
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  Quote deborah31 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 08 Nov 2009 at 00:57
ClapThanks for your weekly take on the night, great as always.
 
 "but I did see The Mother sat in the audience - well, it wouldn’t be a show without Punch (or Judy) would it?"
 
I did see the mother tooLOL
but i actually like this couple, don't think they'll make the final, but i'm enjoying Ola too this year.
 
Ps, where is his girlfriend????
 
I too loved the 'muppet' part (Brucie on the balcony with the crowd!)
Loose Lips, Sink Ships !!   or as they say in Jamaice, 'Mouth open, Story fly out!'
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  Quote Tups Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 08 Nov 2009 at 01:41
Originally posted by deborah31

ClapThanks for your weekly take on the night, great as always.
 
 "but I did see The Mother sat in the audience - well, it wouldn’t be a show without Punch (or Judy) would it?"
 
I did see the mother tooLOL
but i actually like this couple, don't think they'll make the final, but i'm enjoying Ola too this year.
 
Ps, where is his girlfriend????
 
I too loved the 'muppet' part (Brucie on the balcony with the crowd!)
 
 
ummm.. don't think he has one.. rumour has it he bats for the other side???
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  Quote Tups Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 08 Nov 2009 at 01:42
Aida.. wonderful.. as always.. I can go to bed happy now lol
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  Quote Bren Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 08 Nov 2009 at 03:03
fab aida spluttered by cocoa all over laptop at Brucie comments
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  Quote deborah31 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 08 Nov 2009 at 09:48
[
 
Ps, where is his girlfriend????
 
I too loved the 'muppet' part (Brucie on the balcony with the crowd!)
 
 
ummm.. don't think he has one.. rumour has it he bats for the other side???
[/QUOTE] [/QUOTE]
 
no his mother definitely talked about his 'girlfriend'
altho never seen Anton's girlfriend either, altho understandbly so, she must be so embarrassed.Ouch
Loose Lips, Sink Ships !!   or as they say in Jamaice, 'Mouth open, Story fly out!'
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  Quote EllieJ Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 08 Nov 2009 at 15:15
Originally posted by deborah31

[
 

Ps, where is his girlfriend????

 

I too loved the 'muppet' part (Brucie on the balcony with the crowd!)

 

 

ummm.. don't think he has one.. rumour has it he bats for the other side???
[/QUOTE]
 

no his mother definitely talked about his 'girlfriend'

altho never seen Anton's girlfriend either, altho understandbly so, she must be so embarrassed.Ouch
[/QUOTE]

Dont think Anton has a girlfriend. he has played the field a bit and really fancies himself his girlfriends never last that long. Wonder why?
He actually refers to them as Dorises and usually has more than one on the go.
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  Quote killersbee Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 08 Nov 2009 at 16:47
Brilliant sum-up, as always
Catwoman: "For one if I was a bloke, I would not flirt with you two. I have standards."
Toots: "If I had a figure like Ola's, I'd wear that outfit to Sainsburys!"
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  Quote Shamon Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 08 Nov 2009 at 19:04
Great read as always Aida nod.........mind you if Mr Matthew ever came knocking at my door i'd be that polaxed i couldn't run anywhere Tongue
 
In addition i'm still burnt from last week FaintBig%20smile


Edited by Shamon - 08 Nov 2009 at 19:09
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  Quote Thess Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 08 Nov 2009 at 21:22
Great stuff Aida - keep it up LOL
Remember, Ginger Rogers did everything Fred Astaire did, but backwards and in high heels.
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