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SCD Show 7 31st October

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  Quote Bren Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Topic: SCD Show 7 31st October
    Posted: 31 Oct 2009 at 16:16
Ready for you Aida - I'm not hear until later tonight off to kids Halloween party grrr
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  Quote Aida Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 01 Nov 2009 at 00:26
It was a bit of a wrench tonight to turn over and miss the Yoda - v- Darth Dooku fight on ITV, but in the spirit of dedication to Strictly, I did it - just in time to see Pop and Tedious tripping down the stairs. Good gracious! Vermin’s done quite well on the frock front this week - although the setting of two sleeves still eludes him, he’s managed to master the boned bodice - better still she’s wearing matching shoes and earrings - if only she hadn’t plumped for the jokey yellow parrot on the shoulder - and worn some LIPPIE!

Usual nonsense, Pop Forsyth burbling on and trying to work as many of his ancient catchphrases as possible into the opening preamble - yadda yadda yadda - Oh, ye gods, now he’s on about Blackpool, Blackpool, Blackpool - shut up, you old ninny and get on with announcing the dancing - quick - before Craig the Pixie takes the opportunity to dash on and give us his rendition of that old George Formby classic ‘My little stick of Blackpool Rock’! O.O

Natalie and Vinthent
Aww, how thweet - Nat’th wearing an offcut of material left over from Teth’th parrot as a hair-bow! Off we go into the jolly jive (I HATE the jive) - to dethent music and performed with lotth of energy and obvious enjoyment. I *do* hate the jive, but I love thethe two - I may even vote for them! Bruno nearly thquandered hith candentha too early, but managed to reign himthelf in! Phew!

P.C. Ali and Prince Charming USA
By heck, t’lass has had a busy week - raiding drug dealers and brothels on The Bill on Thursday night and then straight on to dancing the paso doble - a favourite dance of mine , danced beautifully to my amateur eyes and to splendid paso music. Loved her gown and makeup and the marvellous ‘arms’ - note to the lovely Brian - I’d have liked you in something tighter and more bullfighter-y, dahling. That looks a nasty injury she’s carrying - with that amount of bruising, I’d be suspecting a fracture - maybe she should have been allowed a ‘bye’ - brave girl.

The Perplexed (and annoying) Pixie and Fast Flavia
Hahahahahahaha - just look who the fickle finger of Wardrobe Revenge landed on this week - what a ghastly frock! Frankly, I’m just relieved that the two of them aren’t dressed in Blackpool-rock pink, that she isn’t wearing a pair of earrings fashioned from said rock, and that he didn’t get the chance to wimpishly plead with the entire studio audience to sing ‘Happy Birthday’ to him.
I screamed with laughter during the training footage - she got Matt di Angelo in to give him advice? Erm - why - is she intending to run off with the Pixie next - or is di Angelo going to try to coach him on forgetting the dance and sitting on the steps looking glum? Hang on, have I fallen asleep and am dreaming - that’s the divine Lennox Lewis isn’t it - drrooool - he’s looking gorjus - why can’t they get *him* on Strictly?   I’d throw 50p away every week on him, even if he was dancing with my least favourite female just on the off-chance he might get his kit off.
But I digress - actually - digressing was much better than watching this clown ‘waltz’ - even me and the hubba can waltz better than him - useless is too mild a word to describe him - although I laughed like a drain again when he maintained that he thinks he can dance while being interrogated by Tedious Tactless Tess.

It was at this point that I refreshed my glass, turned languidly to the hubba and said idly, “The Chinese is a long time coming tonight, dahling!”, to which he replied, “It is - what time did you order it?”
A short and savage argument ensued over who was supposed to ring the Chinese, each of us claiming stoutly that it was the other’s turn - it was only when he snapped, “All right, I’ll do it now - it‘s not the end of the world, you know - I forgot - I was supposed to ring while you were setting the DVD to record Barcelona, but I got distracted by gangs of bliddy kids ringing the doorbell demanding sweets!”

He rang, and while I listened to him trying to enunciate our order clearly enough to the shouting bloke to ensure that we get something approaching what we want to eat, I stared, appalled, at the silent DVD, recording nothing at all. He’s not the only one who ‘forgot’, but we’ll save that quarrel for later! On with the dancing!

The Bobblehead Hobbit and Ooh La La
Hmmm - it seems I was a bit premature at awarding that fast cat Flavia the Wardrobe Revenge of the night - here comes Ooh in a simply horrible get-up - and here he comes, that smirky little face alight with demonic glee, playing the famous father card to counteract the Pixie Birthday and the Ali Injury cards - at least there’s no sign of the mother yet! Aaargh - there she is in the audience, clapping like a seal!
I hate the char char char, even more now that I’ve seen his - and while I hate to contradict Alesha, tape wouldn’t do it, Princess - to shut a gob like that, you’d need staples!

Jumpin’ Jade and My Original Beloved
Gorgeous - frock, music and dance - lovely, lovely foxtrot - and Ian is looking more devilishly handsome by the second.

Zoe and Ooh La La’s husband
Gorgeous saarmba frock - Zo looks amazing, but I have to say that I find her anxiety and terror-stricken approach very off-putting - and, at the risk of appearing shallow, I’m afraid I lost interest in James when he butchered his wonderful Wolverine hair.
I love the saarmba and I so wanted to love this, but I hated the music and it just didn’t ‘feel’ right - even so, she was better than the Pixie and the Hobbit!

Ricky Goldfishfinger and Erin, My Former Favourite
I love the rumba - why didn’t they do one? I’m still in shock over Erin’s gown - hers are usually beautiful, but that chiffon scarf tacked on to a sparkly bather just looked ridiculous- and Ricky G as James Bond - if I hadn’t been so famished I’d have laughed myself sick, but the middle cat beat me to it, running in to the room and hurling dramatically just as the doorbell rang to announce the arrival of the supper! I missed most of the judges’ comments while cleaning up sick and escorting reluctant cats to the outer darkness of the hall, but I did hear that miserable old chuff Len having a go at Craig Revile-Horrid - I so wish Craig had punched him in the gob.

Ex WAG Laila and Anton the Berk
Quelle surprise! Ballroom - a Viennese Whirl at that! Nice frock, if a bit dramatic for a VW, lashings of fatuous praise from the judges - yes, it was good, yes he’s the ’King of the Ballroom’ in their universe, yes they’ll be going to bliddy Blackpool! Yawn! Next!

Tuffers and the Kat
I had to turn the telly up at this point to drown out the disappointed screams of the cats in the hall and the noise generated by me and the hubba eating our (late) supper in the manner of starving refugees. Loved the frock and his outfit, hated the music, thought he did an okay tango - but I’m biased because I like him and think Katya is the best of the new women. I hope he doesn’t go to save the Blackpool Birthday Pixie!

Feathers McGraw and Tina Sparkle
Oh, rats - I’d forgotten about this fell pair! Objectively, he’s very good - subjectively, I can’t be doing with him - or her! Oh dear, does the final emergence of the Bruno cadenza signal - yes it does, three bliddy tens! We’ll never hear the last of it!

Right - here comes the filler - the Pro’s char char char - I think I might have mentioned once or twice that I hate the char x 3 - even when Mr Matthew is gracing it, not that he gets much chance to grace anything with that ginger bint getting in the way of the camera all the time - I did manage to catch flashes of him looking flawlessly beautiful while feeding scraps of prawns, chicken and spare ribs to the hungry horde released from the hall - I suppose it’s my own fault that the junior cat (who jumps for food and snaps at it like a young alligator) mistook my finger for a chop and bit me to the bone!

Good Heavens - another pro-dance! Is someone having to defibrillate the Bee Gee(s) backstage?   Who cares, this dance, while being the very strangest tango I’ve ever seen, features Mr M (wet, drroool) and Ginger (hogging the camera as per) - he’s even more divine wet, his divineness almost made up for me having to write my notes with a pen clenched between my teeth while I held my hand above my head to try to staunch the bleeding from my finger.

Now the remaining Bee Gee(s) are wheeled on - or is it Pinky and Perky? If you closed your eyes and just listened, you wouldn’t know the difference. On and on they laboriously pipe, Skeletor and Squeaky - I hope somebody was standing by with oxygen - poor old souls, it’s probably the only booking they’ll get this year - and speaking of those who rely on Strictly for a living, can Westlife be very far off?

The Dance-Off
Jesus wept! In the immortal words of that great 20th century philosopher, Victor Meldrew, I don’t bliddy believe it! I may never watch this sorry excuse for a show again!   Damn you, GBP, damn you to Hell!

At least the ridiculous outcome gave me the excuse to limp tempestuously from the living-room in disgust - and spared me having to tell the hubba that I ‘forgot’ to record Barcelona!


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  Quote BCfan Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 01 Nov 2009 at 00:59
As always Aida - Gold.  Thank you!Clap
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  Quote Bren Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 01 Nov 2009 at 01:06
that cheered me up no end Aida and YOU MUST keep watching if only to give us this weekly treat
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  Quote Shamon Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 01 Nov 2009 at 01:19
Keep watching for the divine Mr Matthew Aida if nothing else .......
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  Quote BambionIce Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 01 Nov 2009 at 11:22

Aida, your observations are the highlight of my weekend.  And you share my view of the once-elegant Erin's hideous outfit! 

Honestly, your comments on the Pixie and Ricky Bond (in his dreams and our nightmares) are sheer brilliance Clapas ever.  And after a week of clearing up after a nauseous cat, you have my sympathy!
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  Quote Thess Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 01 Nov 2009 at 11:47
Nice one Aida. LOL
Remember, Ginger Rogers did everything Fred Astaire did, but backwards and in high heels.
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  Quote kitty Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 01 Nov 2009 at 11:51
I'm a new poster here, but I've been reading your posts for weeks Aida. They are brilliant!
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  Quote Aida Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 01 Nov 2009 at 12:12
Hello, Kitty - thanks for your kind comments, and more thanks to everyone else who encourages me in my lunacy!

Y'all know that I was bluffing and having a bit of a tantrum about not watching Strictly ever again - I'd watch almost anything that featured the Divine Matthew - well, apart from that 'I'm a Nonentity, leave me where I am' programme - if it was a choice between watching that and being shot, I'd ask them to pass me the last ciggie and the blindfold!   

Cats were once worshipped as gods in Ancient Egypt. They've never forgotten this.

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  Quote Tups Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 01 Nov 2009 at 22:20
Brilliant.. as per usual Aida.. my puter broke down last night .. but I did manage to make a comment about Fast Flav's frock.. think she put a hex on me puter!!
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  Quote Flora Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 02 Nov 2009 at 20:03
Brilliant as ever Aida. Having missed Strictly this weekend due to a trip to Whitby for Goth Weekend only to arrive home to discover that the stupid freeview forgot to record both SCD and the Xfactor your take on the dances certainly has given me a colourful insight as to what I missed.
Flora
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  Quote Fleckerl Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 03 Nov 2009 at 08:09
This is the best laugh I've had in weeks. Thank you so much. I'm looking forward to next week
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  Quote deborah31 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 03 Nov 2009 at 11:06
Good Heavens - another pro-dance! Is someone having to defibrillate the Bee Gee(s) backstage?   Who cares, this dance, while .........LOL
 
Brilliant Aida, something for everyone again!!!!!
By the way, do you watch, and report any other shows/programmes? , it sheds a whole new light on the show.
Loose Lips, Sink Ships !!   or as they say in Jamaice, 'Mouth open, Story fly out!'
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  Quote Rosy Lee Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 03 Nov 2009 at 17:21
Originally posted by Aida

Hello, Kitty - thanks for your kind comments, and more thanks to everyone else who encourages me in my lunacy!

Y'all know that I was bluffing and having a bit of a tantrum about not watching Strictly ever again - I'd watch almost anything that featured the Divine Matthew - well, apart from that 'I'm a Nonentity, leave me where I am' programme - if it was a choice between watching that and being shot, I'd ask them to pass me the last ciggie and the blindfold!   
 
and a large G&T in your spare hand Big%20smile
 
Reading your saturday mishaps re technology/memory loss/misbehaving cats & hubby helped ease my bummer of a saturday evening...keep up the excellant work as it is appreciated & so very funny Thumbs%20Up
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  Quote Aida Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 04 Nov 2009 at 13:25
Originally posted by deborah31

By the way, do you watch, and report any other shows/programmes? , it sheds a whole new light on the show.


Laughing - I don't, Deborah - Strictly is the only reality/zeleb show I enjoy enough to watch regularly - all of the other stuff makes me foam at the mouth like a rabid dog!   

Cats were once worshipped as gods in Ancient Egypt. They've never forgotten this.

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