I'm a celebrity get me out of hereThe X-Factor 2010Dancing On Ice 2011Big Brother 2011SCD 2012 ForumDancing with the Stars 2011

Big Brother 2013 Forum

The Blue Room Homepage
Forum Home Forum Home > Reality TV > Strictly Come Dancing 2017 > Aida's World Famous SCD Blog
  Active Topics Active Topics
  FAQ FAQ  Forum Search   Register Register  Login Login

SCD Show 4 10th October

 Post Reply Post Reply
  Topic Search Topic Search  Topic Options Topic Options
Aida View Drop Down
Penis FlyTrap
Penis FlyTrap

Joined: 02 Dec 2005
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 1010
  Quote Aida Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Topic: SCD Show 4 10th October
    Posted: 11 Oct 2009 at 00:22
Another Saturday night - but not another Chinese takeaway washed down with G&T’s - the hubba insisted on an Indian takeaway and copious amounts of Stella Artois - I had one bottle of beer only, then finished up half a bottle of Pina Colada while I washed the danshing - it sheemed shtrangely shtrong for a pre-made cocktail until I remembered that the sister and me drank half a bottle of it last Tuesday and filled it up again with Bacardi!

Ah who caresh, being half-cut might lend a bit of sparkle to possibly the most boring bunch of celebs ever - Cheers - and off we go!

Good God - Vermin certainly seems to be getting the hang of setting sleeves - if only he could progress to two! I’m sure scarlet will prove to be a very popular seasonal colour this year - and how kind of Tactless Tess to show us how draining it can be without the benefit of LIPPIE!!   Garrrgggghhh!

Usual banal banter between her and Methuselah - someone must have told her to develop what’s laughingly referred to as her ‘personality’ this season - it’s a shame she’s been taking lessons from an amoeba.

Will some b*gger please dance - it takes aaages to write this review, you know - Oh, here come the first cupple :-

Ex WAG Zoë and the Last of the Mohicans:-
Nice frock and hair (on her) , all right music - cor blimey, the Foxtrot’s a boring dance, isn’t it - I could feel meself going over to sleep at times! Tactless T in great form backstage, happily oblivious to the ’racism’ furore which has been raging all week and accusing Zoë of being a ‘dark horse’!

The Hobbit and Ooh-la-la
Hmmmmm. I hate the bliddy Salsa and that sort of dress always sets off my ‘Warning - this frock is a distraction - the celeb can’t dance’ sensors. The hubba liked it though and gave a ragged cheer while waving his glass of beer and splashing the junior cat liberally with Stella A. I don’t care for the Hobbit, his head’s too big for his body and his relationship with his mother is just creepy - he can’t dance either!

The Loose Woman and Diddy Darren
Another foxtrot - a very slooooooow one to music I wasn’t struck on. The frock looked like an old corset that someone had tacked a net petticoat to, and Diddy (despite the fixed and desperate grin) looked like a game little tug-boat shoving an (equally grinning) ocean liner out to sea! Bon Voyage, Lynda - I hope!

PC Ali and Prince Charming USA
The salsa again - good dress, okay music - I like these two best so I was bound to like this - I thought she showed tremendous courage when she sort of swooned over backwards and Brian caught her in the Vulcan Death Grip! If I’m still awake later on, I might even vote for them!

Jo Wood(en) and Brenda(n)
Oh joy - a foxtrot. Reasonable frock, she doesn’t look as common as usual, but she’s still being dragged around like a rag-doll. People at the Pink Palace seem to like her - I can’t think why, she irritates the life out of me with that foolish ‘little girl’ voice. I can’t believe Brenda(n) hasn’t tried to throttle her yet - they must have him sedated. I can’t remember now what Old Pop Goodman said afterwards, but at the time it was enough to make me scream, “Oh, shut up, you pompous old fart!” at the telly, loudly enough to wake the hubba from a light doze and cause him to kick over a pouffe on which three cats were sleeping peacefully before being rudely launched into orbit.

Thonia and Vinthent:-
I don’t know whether the frock was particularly flattering or if she’s looking much trimmer around her waist - never mind - as far as thaltha’th go, thith was a dethent one and the firtht tonight to make me feel like danthing! I really do like these two and will definitely vote for them - if I’m still awake.

Stumblin’ Joe and his floozy:-
Yawn, a foxtrot. Didn’t like the frock, she seems drawn like a magnet to the tawdry. Sloooooooow, sloooooooow and slooooooooower. He danced with all the animation of a dummy fresh from Moss Bros window. Craig was right - surely a taxi for Joe le Boxeur ce soir?

Ex-WAG 2 - Laila and Anton the Rac - erm - I mean, Berk!
Far too much unconvincing ‘we love each other really’ and ‘look at the fun we have backstage’ tosh - anyone would think there’d been trouble at t’mill during the week!
Never mind - gorgeous dress, appropriate music, very good (to my amateur eyes) ‘safe’ dance, but the gilt is rapidly dropping off the Du Bec gingerbread for me. Amazingly, the judges gave them the best mark of the night - I wonder why that was? Next!

Ricky Hollyoaks and Gnasher Mark II
Nasty colour costumes, okay music - I really can’t stand this pair and if the allegations that he’s been taking salsa lessons for seven months are true, I think he should ask for his money back, but what do I know?   Hmmm - was that a tactical vote by the judges to fool the GBP into indignantly voting for Mr. Wonderful?

I’m ashamed to say that I did fall asleep (in mid-sentence) according to the hubba and missed the next three dances, one of which starred My Original Beloved with his pecs out! The hubba had risen to the occasion though and this is what he wrote on my notes: -

“The woman who looks like Freddie Mercury and some bloke. Grey frock, didn’t know the music - think it was a quickstep or something - didn’t get very good marks!

Your Ian and Leona Lewis.
He’s got bigger t*ts than her (Hahahaha) - red frock with a lot of frills - did the saaarmba and looked as if they might go a purler. Did a funny handstand at the end and apparently she popped one out, which I MISSED because your beloved Leo ran downstairs and the length of the hall to projectile vomit on my feet!’

A woman in a pink frock and a ginger bloke - I don’t know which one was the celeb - did a waltz - quite good!”

Observant, isn't he? I regained consciousness just in time to see, taking to the floor -

Tuffers and the Least Irritating New Dancer:-
Weirdly-coloured, but strangely nice dress and shirt - I can’t help liking old Tuffers, he has such a great attitude to the whole fiasco and he actually looks as if he’s enjoying himself - he’s got some balls too - I’ve had patients refuse to even try to stand alone after knee surgery, let alone attempt to dance!

I’ve got a headache now I’ve woken up - and a raging thirst - and the cats are all fighting and wall-of-deathing around the living-room because they’re livid about missing out on their Saturday night Chinese supper - and I must be imagining things because there are two wallopers tap-dancing like a pair of death-watch beetles on my telly - Oh right - this is the ‘filler’ while the votes are counted and verified, probably by Sooty!

At least it’s not Westlife - but hark - there’s worse to come - some kid singing flat and accompanied by that sad soak Winehouse - then My New Beloved shimmies into sight, looking gorgeous but sadly obscured by that slithering Ginger Bint - I’m so annoyed that I can’t see him, I’m suddenly struck by the horrid thought that I’m actually still asleep and dreaming, so I nip my arm hard - and scream - because it hurt, so I must be awake!

At last - the pain in my arm has receded to 'bearable' and the long evening has worn on enough for us to get to the dance-off - and thankfully, the Loose Oxo Woman is no more - Diddy Darren must have been on the point of fainting with relief while thanking his personal gods that he never actually had to lift her before they got voted off.

Next week, I am sticking to my usual routine - Chinese food and gins and tonic - all this chopping and changing isn’t good for a woman of my age.

Cats were once worshipped as gods in Ancient Egypt. They've never forgotten this.

Back to Top
Bren View Drop Down
Vintage Vamp
Vintage Vamp
Private Dancer

Joined: 19 Jan 2004
Location: United Kingdom
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 61089
  Quote Bren Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 16 Oct 2009 at 14:29
by popular request your own home for your blogs 
Back to Top
Crube666 View Drop Down

Joined: 12 Sep 2007
Location: Scotland
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 468
  Quote Crube666 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 16 Oct 2009 at 14:38
Thanks Bren, and of course thanks Aida
This is just (to use the current popular internets vernacular) made of win!!!!111!!!
Awesome stuff
Back to Top
Tups View Drop Down
The Queen Of Tarts

Joined: 12 Dec 2007
Location: Wales/Liverpool
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 6898
  Quote Tups Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 17 Oct 2009 at 19:40
brilliant!!!!.. Aida's own Blue Room Home page.. thanks BrenKiss
Back to Top
 Post Reply Post Reply

Forum Jump Forum Permissions View Drop Down

Click Here to Visit!
Sirlinksalot:bigbrother Reality TV Links:Bigbrother