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SCD Show 3 3rd October

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Penis FlyTrap

Joined: 02 Dec 2005
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  Quote Aida Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Topic: SCD Show 3 3rd October
    Posted: 04 Oct 2009 at 00:03
Oh, Lord - this is going to be a marathon tonight - apologies in advance for the lack of quality, the ‘quantity’ is just too much on top of being in the doghouse with the hubba for failing to ensure that I was recording Barcelona while we watched Strictly!

Right - a whistle-stop tour through the show - Old Pop Forsythe as annoying as ever from bell to bell, Tedious Tess wearing what appeared to be a cardboard creation and still failing to wear a strong enough lippie to avoid looking like someone with pernicious anaemia.

Off we go - not necessarily in the right order - the junior cat’s determination to join the senior and middle cat on my lap caused a spectacular fight which culminated in my drink being spilled all over my notes.

Sally-Ali and Prince Charming USA
Gorgeous frock, proper Quickstep music, lovely dance.

The Loose Oxo Woman and Diddy Darren
Reasonable frock, lousy music, feral facial expressions. Next!

The Hobbit and Ooh-la-la
Actually, he’s more like a Bobblehead than a Hobbit - never mind - very ladylike and covered-up frock for Ooh, at least at the front, decent music, hoppity hoppity hop dance which did nothing for me. I can’t be doing with that relentless grinning.

Tanya-Zoë and The Last of the Mohicans
She looks good, the music is bliddy awful and sung by ‘The Screamer’ - I bet that would have looked a good dance to better music. The ex-Werewolf’s hair is still horrible.

Thunderthighs and The Ginger Woman
Or ‘Ravioli’ as the hubba insists on calling them. I thought this was supposed to be a quickstep, so why are they using a jive tune? One of the great mysteries of dance, I suppose. I don’t like her at all - she looks tacky and, to my amateur eye, so does her choreography. Mind you, it can’t be easy devising a dance to show off the finer points of a dancing gorilla!

Thonia and Vinthent.
She looked great in that dress - and hooray - proper paso music. It made all the difference for me, really made me feel the mood of the dance - Vinthent wath magnifithent and Natalie put her heart and soul into it - I like her more every week and I hope having said that that doesn’t bring the Curse of Aida down on her.

Craig Who? and Fast Flavia
Jesus Wept! Who styled his hair? Hitler? Very vibrant frock, good music - tedious dance!

Ricky Hollyoaks and Gnasher Mark2
Orange and Purple? Together? Is she colour-blind? Good paso music, I suppose it was a good dance, I just can’t stand either of them - they should be happy to hear that, cupples I dislike usually win the whole competition.

My Original Beloved and The Long Jumper
Dear me, what a bright frock - I had to wear my sunglasses for this dance. Awful music, Ian looks a bit strained - I can’t rid myself of the notion that Jade’s suddenly going to break into that ‘Bleeding Ears’ song the fell Leona Lewis foisted on an innocent nation. I love him, but …..

Shamblin’ Joe and The Floozy
Hahahahahahahahaha - quick, pass the Ventolin - hahahahahahahahaha! That song will haunt the band because they murdered it! Paso? Paso, my a*rse - it was pitiful - just go, in the name of all that’s Holy, go!

Amber-Laila and Monsieur du Bec
Gorgeous frock, perfect music - and to my untrained eye a beautiful dance - joyous and ‘bubbly’.

Jo Wood(en) and Brenda(n)
Good grief - she’s wearing the curtains! I’m quite glad they got each other as it saves spoiling two other cupples - terrible music - she looked all right standing still and wafting her arms around and totally stupid while allegedly dancing - but at least she didn’t look as suicidal as the last time she was on! Time to say goodbye, surely?

Tuffers and Kat Somebody
Striking frock, great music - how can I possibly dislike someone who looks as if he’s enjoying himself immensely and couldn’t care less if he stays or goes? He was actually quite good until the knee gave out!

Ricky the Gob and my girl Erin
Glorious gown as per, shocking music - somebody should staple that gob shut because he looked faintly impressive when he was stamping around being macho, but lost it for me once he started ‘gold fishing’ - even so, it was he who prompted the Great Bruno Cadenza of the Night!

Professional dances - a bit of a lacklustre foxtrot with no Mr Matthew - gaarrggghhh!
Ooooh, did Pop Forsythe just say the ‘saarmba’s next - rats, no he didn’t - it’s the bliddy salsa. I hate the salsa - there’s not even any proper music, just some bloke SHOUTING!

Aaaaarrrggggh! Kids! Time for a comfort break

Did Pop just say ‘Andy Williams’? I thought Andy Williams was dead - he certainly sings as if he were dead - I’ll never forgive him for inflicting those ghastly Osmonds on the world.   Never mind, Mr Matthew looks divine although I don’t like him dancing with Ginger a bit, and the last minute appearance of his Lilia put the hubba into quite a jocular mood.

Well I never! Thunderthighs is going home! The lunacy of the GBP never fails to astound me - can I bear another week of Stumblin’ Joe, Jo Wood(en) and Mrs Oxo?

Cats were once worshipped as gods in Ancient Egypt. They've never forgotten this.

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